Dating : Just when I thought 5 months is serious enough, he suddenly GHOSTS ME.
First of all, I am 24M, and I met this guy who’s also 24M on an online app last January. We already hit it off during our first day because we both identified ourselves as men (straight acting) who just happened to secretly like men as well. Everything we had felt special. Whenever we were together, we could just be, ourselves… We were on the same page about not coming out anytime soon, but what we had was really something we cherished. We avoided public display of affection because we didn’t want the attention, but it sort of gave us the thrill, you know? Like we would hold hands in the theater, give each other a really quick peck kiss in the elevator when no one’s there but us… It was both the small things and the big things that made us feel really special to each other.
Since January we managed to see each other almost every single day. We went on a lot of fun out of town trips together, watched a lot of movies, ate a lot of stuff, drank a lot, went clubbing a lot, HECK WE EVEN GOT MATCHING TATTOOS from a 102-year-old tattoo artist. IT WAS THAT SPECIAL.
Then things slowed down for a bit because he suddenly took on 2 jobs in architecture, and we saw each other less. But we still had a lot of feelings for each other. However, in recent weeks, we’ve had a lot of arguments but we managed to resolve them all.
Until this last argument 2 weeks ago, he asked that we gave each other space for now because he needed some time to finish his work. He’s reassured me that we were not breaking up. It’s just that he just needed some time to focus on his work. I agreed, and we met up about 5 days ago and I apologized for how I caused the argument because I didn’t realize I was being too jealous and needy lately. He accepted my apology and made me feel like I still mattered to him.
Around bedtime, he texted me saying that all we needed was to take things slowly and put all the bad arguments behind us. I agreed and we both said good night.
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5 days later, after giving him some time alone, I decided to send him a text. After all, nobody said we were breaking up. To my surprise, he’s ignored my text messages and calls. The following day, I sent him a text message because it was his birthday and tried calling him 10 times, but he wouldn’t talk to me. It’s now been 2 days and it looks like he’s ghosted me.
I feel very devastated and broken right now. I know that ghosting is not part of this guys personality, that’s why I’m confused and I wanna know what’s gotten into him. And I would also like to believe that what we had was something special for him as well.
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It’s just……really heartbreaking to feel that I think he’s already broken up with me without me knowing.
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Please help me. Is there hope between us? Is he really just swamped with work? I don’t know, I just feel really terrible right now.
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To anyone who’s actually ghosted someone, especially when it’s someone you’ve known and had a relationship with for quite a while, please know that the other person now feels dead inside. :'(
It sounds like you guys have been through a lot together. I won’t lie to you, it looks no bueno. There could still be some hope but I would say maybe don’t text or call anymore. Give him true space. Either he’ll reach out or he won’t but maybe focus on you for awhile and give yourself some love and attention. I’ve been there, it sucks. Its the most disrespectful type of rejection. Especially after 5 months of feeling like everything was great and after all his reassurances. Idk it kind of sounds like something else might be going on in his life that you don’t know about. Space is key, focus on yourself and your needs, there’s always hope but make sure you stay grounded in reality. Sorry I can’t be more help.
< HECK WE EVEN GOT MATCHING TATTOOS from a 102-year-old tattoo artist. IT WAS THAT SPECIAL.
Wtf where you thinking?
This is a harsh life lesson. Sometimes the good times don’t last that long. Thats life man.
>HECK WE EVEN GOT MATCHING TATTOOS from a 102-year-old tattoo artist. IT WAS THAT SPECIAL.
In hindsight, it wasn’t THAT special. Try to not be so impulsive next time.
>And I would also like to believe that what we had was something special for him as well.
Maybe it was, for a little while anyways. Not all things last forever.
Ghosting is part of life and something we all have to process and get over. It will never be illegal to ghost, thank god. So just deal with it and move forward. You aren’t the only one that has to go through this, we all do.
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