Dating : When is the best moment to ask someone if they are interested and open to the idea to have a serious relationship?
I 25F, have been single for 4 years . I normally ask them right in the beginning (tinder and others apps) but I am going to date #3 and we didn’t talk about our expectations.
I don’t know if he is only interested in casual hookups or something else.
And looking back I am not sure if asking that for a opener is a good idea. I am trying to avoid my dating pattern: dating with guys not interested in committing but i am not sure if I am using the best approach
I don’t know, my last girlfriend once just said after the third date, « so what do you want out of this? » I said « I want to date you. » And she said she doesn’t do hookups, which to me was a relief and made me more attracted to her.
The purpose of dating is to spend time together and enjoy it and just see how it works out. If you make it a mission you will scare the other away,…well at least the good ones,…the needy ones will latch on really fast. In a good healthy situation where both people have their act together you shouldn’t putting labels on anything until about the 8 weeks / 2 months mark.
Tinder is still primarily a hook-up app, it is not geared toward getting into relationships. The best way to do that is through your social life with in-person events.
Go on a date or two to find out if you like them enough/if they are interested at all.
Opening with, “Are you in it for the long-term?” Is a huge turn off imo. Some people are looking for flings and that’s ok. It’s possible that someone you date is initially looking for a hookup but they change their mind. To ask that question puts a lot of pressure on someone you haven’t really met yet. They can’t answer that honestly until you know each other first.
You don’t want to ask the question and scare him away. Has he made any sexual propositions towards you? If so, he’s probably not looking for something serious. Just pay attention to your encounters with him (i.e. having mostly sexual conversations). If it is still unclear, when the moment is right ask him.