Dating : Meeting a girl after speaking to online for months, but I’ve got social anxiety
Hey fellow redditors, I’ve been speaking to a girl for a good 6 months all online and she’s recently asked me to go on a date. I’ve not done something like this in over 5 years (yeah that’s along time indeed) and I’m really nervous! I have a stutter, low self esteem. I could go on but let’s save that can of worms for another day.
You see I’m not really sure how to go about it. What do you talk about? When you’ve already discovered all the things you would normally talk about on a first date. I already know her favorite hobbies, what she hates, her favorite food, yano the typical first few dates things you learn about someone. So how now what..
Any advice would be appreciated
I have social anxiety & agoraphobia. So i understand. So you know how your brain switches around for when you have to go to the ER or a doctors appointment? We wanna trick your brain to do that but for the date!
So pick something to focus on. You obviously wanna meet her. Be excited! Focus & hold on to that feeling. Pretend instead of thinking of it as a date that you’re just casually hanging out with a good friend or somebody you obviously trust. Understand that she asked you to be there with her.
I’m guessing she already knows you have the anxiety disorder. So sounds like to me she’s understanding & willing to be patient with you & it sounds like to me you’re feeling anxious?
So if the casual mindset doesn’t work then go with Ford method of talking. Keep yourself talking. Talk about what you did yesterday or what you wanna do next weekend (wanting doesn’t mean planning) ask her what she did, ask what she might be doing next weekend. Before she arrived how was the traffic? What do you think of the weather today? How did you two stumble on to Reddit?
Don’t overthink it. Go with the flow. She’ll maybe probably keep the conversation going. Also maybe move from a public place to a park bench (if it isn’t night) or head to the beach & sit on the sand together & chit chat. Maybe the public place might not work for you but somewhere more intimate. If going to a diner, ask for s booth.
What I’m saying is picking a spot where you’ll feel like it’s just you two will help ease you (maybe) & i only say maybe because what works for me may not work for you but I hope it does!