Dating : My life feels all but over and I don’t know how to correct this belief
I’ve been online dating since it was a niche. Over the 7 odd years, I’ve had some successes from it. 1-2 relationships. Handful of hookups. And genuinely never felt like I was struggling…until I turned 30, and then 31.
Since then my match quality has plummeted drastically. I pay for it so my queue is filled with a slew of(right now 10) women that I just can’t in good conscious date because I’d be lying if I pretended to be attracted to them. If I do get a match that gets me excited, I might be a reply or two before she just stops replying without reason. I even try to inquire what it was that I said so I could improve but they offer up no response. A new thing has started happening where I get the notification of a new match, I open it up and she’s really cute, like finally a woman I actually consider cute, and then she’ll disappear within 30 minutes to few hours.
It’s absolutely all but killed me guys. I feel so utterly broken and defeated. I just can’t seem to attract who I want. And now I’m having radical thoughts of suicide because all these posts on the internet are telling me I’m less than who I feel I am. That I’m below average. Uninteresting. And the list scrolls on. If my only options are to be alone or settle for someone twice my size, I really don’t know if life is worth the candle anymore. I used to have so much luck in my 20s and now I feel convinced they were just flukes and I pissed all my chances away.
I really, really don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t even bring myself to approach women in real life anymore because soooooooooooooo many have rejected me online over the years. If I don’t match with tall slender women online, why the fuck would the one standing next to me even remotely find me attractive enough to talk to her? Even the cute girl working at chipotle behind the counter practically rolls her eyes with disgust everytime I walk in after the gym. And it absolutely crushes me.
I’m getting really fucking scared that this is it.