Dating : Not sure my date even likes me??
Yesterday, I went on my second date with a guy I met on an app. We have a lot to talk about, and our conversation flows well, but he barely looks at me? First and second date he barely looks at me. He isn’t rude, looking at his phone or anything, but making eye contact is soooo hard. We have a few moments of eye contact yesterday but then he looked away. He did ask for a third date, which we are in the process of scheduling… we also haven’t touched at all, aside from a hug when I left. Which I guess is fine, I’m not looking to have sex yet or anything, but it would be nice to hold hands. I would be ok initiating but I feel like I at least need some solid eye contact before I touch him in any way. Is he pity dating me? It feels like he isn’t really interested but I don’t know why he would immediately want to set up another date? Can he really be THAT shy? What should I do??? I DO like him, I just feel like it’s one sided? I am so confused!
He sounds like he’s on the spectrum. Not sure which one though.
Is he actively involved in the conversation? Does he remember things you told him? Does he laugh at your jokes? Is he proactive about organizing the dates?
If the answer to all of these is a yes, then don’t worry! Stop over thinking it!
The only thing that’s unusual is the lack of eye contact. That can come from shyness, education or even cultural background. I have a friend from a culture where looking at someone in the eye is disrespectful, so we often have conversations where I’m looking at him and he’s looking elsewhere… It took some getting used to but it doesn’t mean he’s not interested in our friendship!
If you feel comfortable doing so, you could bring it up, like « hey, I’ve noticed you don’t seem to look at me in the eyes when we’re talking, is it uncomfortable for you? I don’t want to be intrusive but you have pretty eyes haha, and for me it’s nice to feel connected to someone by looking at them in the eyes while talking ». Of course adapt that to your level of closeness.
As for physical touch, have you initiates anything? There is a touch barrier between strangers when you meet, and it’s awkward to break it for the first time for everyone! So as a woman I usually take it upon myself to break it, because maybe the other person doesn’t want me to feel like they’re pushing boundaries, so by touching their shoulders when then make a joke, or touching their wrist using any excuse, I introduce touch and let them know I’m open to it.
He might have autism.