Dating : Hopeless romantics.. How is dating for you?
I’m still very young and inexperienced so I don’t want to make it seem like I should have it figured out by now because I definitely know that I don’t, but I feel familiar enough with my emotions to know that I fall for people too easily. And I *stay* fallen for a long while. And when I inevitably get my heart broken, it’s weeks to months of aching, over someone I never even dated to begin with.
So when I hear about people going on multiple dates with lots of people only to reject or be rejected, it feels a little soul crushing. Yes film and media has skewed me (and all of us) into believing we can all just find someone randomly or have reciprocated feelings from a friend but that is usually (evident by the amount of people who use dating apps and the like) not the case. I want to fall in love with one person and try to make it work. That’s the fairytale dream of it I guess.
The concept of starting a relationship both knowing that you want it to go further is weird to me. Its almost too contractual, like a business deal. I always liked chance more, despite how unrealistic and unlikely it is for it to succeed. I’ve fallen for many guys. Only one has given me the slightest bit of possible reciprocation and even then it feels to have died now due to me kinda jumping on that chance too fast and scaring him away.
I will one day likely have to start the dating circuit, and that scares me. Anyone else?
Sorry if this wasnt very coherent. I mostly made this out of like, angst and recent heartbreak
im probably going to die alone, but ill let fate do its thing, so i dont have to always be on the prowl to date.
It gets easier. Late bloomer on the dating scene guy here. You start to focus on what you learn from the failed tries and move onto the next. You fall in love so easily because your in a scarcity mindset of if this don’t work it’s gonna hurt and I’ll have to find and try again. Luckily your a girl so you get a way higher passive income of potential people to date. I used to be destroyed for months after a break up and hoping she changes her mind but now it hurts ofcourse but I look forward to the future. The last person I dated we didn’t work out and I was in a I hope she changes her mind state for like a week. Then she kinda popped back up and I’m on the fence of being hopeful and just moving past it. Now I’m always looking for new people and think of new things I want to do and just to have a person go do those things with me.
It’s so easy to think that you’ll meet the right person and fall in love and everything is right as rain, but sometimes you might date someone you think is the right person and forgive unforgivable things because you’re so desperate for that romance and closeness. My dating advice to you would be to listen to the people around you about the people you date, sometimes they can see what you can’t. Also don’t give your everything to the first guy you think you’re in love with. I was with a guy for 2 years who used me and my romantic nature for his benefit. Just guard your heart and use your head, you’ll be fine.
Horrible
Dating for me is hopeless
The last six years have been a waste of time that makes me want to commit when I think of everything else I could have done with that time.
I fall fast and I fall hard. It takes me on a whirlwind adventure full of excitement and wonder.
Some love interests work out better than others. There have been crashing and burning. There have been a slow tapering off of feelings. I’ve broken hearts and had my heart broken.
The important thing is that you learn from all of these experiences and not let it jade you. I came out of each stronger and with more knowledge.
Heartbreak/rejection are experiences just like any others that the more you’re familiar with it, the less it fazes you. When I was young I always fell hard and thought that was the person for me. Go through enough « the one »s and love interests and you know you’ll find another one no problem – you’ve done it before!
And at any point in there you may find the right one that you stay with forever and is perfect for you. But until then, enjoy the ride! The dramatic highs and lows of strong emotion, even if they feel bad now, are the experiences you will carry with you and become part of the story of your life.
I feel like you answered your own question in the title. It’s completely hopeless for me. Ive been on three dates since my first date at age 18 ten years ago, none in the last two years. Years of rejection have left me jaded, frustrated, and depressed. Between getting no matches or replies online, and my autistic ass being unable to ask anyone out in person anymore, it really brings me down hard.
Wow all these comments are even more depressing than how I thought my love life was gonna turn out originally. Yipes!