Dating : People need to stop equating a girl’s want for sex to their level of self-respect or worth
Im so tired of it. Just because a girl is cool with casual sex, just because she wants to have fun and be pleasured, just because she decided to have sex with you on the first date doesnt mean she doesnt respect herself. It doesnt mean she’s doing that with every guy she meets, and even if she was, as long as everyone is being safe, who cares? That doesnt mean she doesnt respect herself either. And why is it always the girls who dont have self-respect? I never hear people talk about guys who sleep around and say its because they dont have self respect. I respect myself and know my worth and that has nothing to do with how often I hook up.
I have the opposite issue, I feel like almost every relationship I have been pushed to have sex before I am ready. 🙁 with comments like…. “ how will we know we like each other “, “ you must not like me if you don’t want to “, “ what if we wait and we have awful sexual chemistry “ , “ almost every girl I meet does it on the second date “….. this leaves me feeling awful and sad for wanting to wait to have sex… and like there is something wrong with me…… but I honestly just want to be respected and feel comfortable…. I actually have a crazy high sex drive when paired off but prefer to spend a few months getting to know people…..
I never understood this. And then these same people insulting these women will still sleep with them. Like??? So you share your body with people you have no respect for and then give lectures about self respect?? Make it make sense.
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My ex and I slept together on the first date. She invited me over to her house and we talked and then slept together. We were together for 5 years.
As a prude who hasn’t slept with anyone and refuses to until 6 or so months in a relationship, guys dont respect us either.
So have all the sex you want and don’t give a shit about the opinions of men that change on a dime.
I agree with you regarding the sexist bs women go through if they want casual sex. At the same time, there may be legitimate reasons people who aren’t in to causal sex may be wary of being with those who are.
From what I’ve seen, you can’t assume that people are using protection (especially not properly) every time with every partner. You also can’t assume casual partners will disclose any STI’s like herpes or HPV (if they even know they have them).
So some people who aren’t comfortable with casual sex may want someone who is more risk averse than many who have casual sex.
I personally find it a turn off if I know a man sleeps around a lot because I worry about his STI status and if he actually wants to commit. Also I like to wait for sex to give me time to see who I am actually dealing with. Sex is unfortunately pretty dangerous for women in multiple ways, so I try to practice caution at this point.
Conversely, people shouldn’t shame those who aren’t interested in dating someone like that.
As a man that does not have casual sex, I 100% agree with this. If a girl wants to hook up and have sex that’s her prerogative and completely independent of her self-worth or self-respect.
Now, a lack of it may cause a man or a woman to seek out attention and affection and that may lead to casual sex, but that doesn’t mean that it applies to all that do.
A square is a rectangle, but a rectangle is not a square.
I don’t understand why you got so much hate, it only proves your point. Many hugs❤️
A dude saying « she has no self respect » bc she has sex on the first date is actually saying « I’m terribly insecure that I won’t be able to satisfy this woman who likes sex a bunch. Better flip it and act like she’s the one with the problem ».
I’d say it’s not even worth trippin over if these dudes didn’t basically run society unfortunately. You do you do tho to hell with em!
This sub is full of incels. That’s all I can say.
In my personal opinion, I am not a fan of casual sex. I will not have sex unless we are in a relationship, and I think that sex is somwthing special between you and your partner
I have to be honest, I would not want to be with a girl who hooks up often or has a fwb, but at the same time I have no problem with a girl who thinks the same way about guys. I’m fair on this. I dont tell guys to have sex with every girl they meet either
Guys want casual sex, but want them girls to keep a low body count, like pic a side dude
Are we still having this conversation? Damn.
These comments are just proof that guys generalize women and women generalize guys it’s honestly sad that post like this keep getting made on here. Lots of guys suck lots of girls suck cause guess what lots of ppl suck it’s not rocket science. Stop complaining about every guy sucking cause u choose to sleep with scumbags. Guys need to stop complaining about girls having sex like they aren’t human beings and can’t do whatever tf they want. Posts like this just piss me off generalizations galore if a guy doesn’t want to sleep with a girl that has a high body count that’s his choice. If a girl wants to sleep with a lot of guys that’s her choice. Freedom of choice doesn’t mean freedom of judgment ppl can judge u for whatever reason they want a lot of times they’re just hypocrites or assholes ignore them and get over it.
So first off I think guys who sleep around have zero self respect as well, and no self control.
The reason society as a whole tends to view women having casual sex as worse than men is because women can generally have sex much easier than men. Women are the gatekeepers of sex so they are essentially just unlocking the gate whereas men are fighting tooth and nail to get sex. Of course this is just in general and there will be exceptions to the rules and I personally don’t see it that way just stating how society looks at it.
This is what has made me so ashamed sometimes of having any sexual desires whatsoever. The idea of apparently wanting to be disrespected. The idea of “the good guy” proving he really likes the girl by turning down her advance and saying she’s better than that and that he respects her too much. And following that, the idea that a guy’s interest in me means he doesn’t actually really care about me like he’s saying he is — it’s just a coverup for how he wants to take advantage of me. The idea that once I finally partake in something sexual with someone, he’ll change his mind (if he ever liked me at all) because the chase is over and he doesn’t respect me anymore. On top of that, I was told most of my childhood, if boys are mean to you that means they like you. I’m almost 31 and I’ve still never had a real relationship probably in part because of all of this confusing and contradictory bullshit I’ve been hearing since I was 8. When was it supposed to have magically become normal and expected? Nowadays, I’ve heard things like, “No one wants to be with someone like you because at your age there’s a degree of expectation of sex in dating and no one is going to want to have to deal with your insecurities and teach you how to have a relationship because they’re not going to think it’s worth the wait or effort.”
Agreed! I love it when girls sleep with me on the first date. And it takes two to tango, so…yah..no judgement at all.
I generally find that those who have an issue with it are jealous girls and insecure guys who didn’t get laid.
ENJOY HOT GIRL SUMMER!
There are a shit ton of insecure misogynistic people on here holy hell.
I can’t believe this is still a hot take in 2021. As long as sex is consentual who the fuck cares?
I don’t give a fuck who a partner has slept with if they haven’t hurt anyone.
I don’t care how tall they are.
I don’t care how much money they make, just try to be self sufficient like I do. That’s it. Throw in a sense of humor and compassionate attitude and that’s a golden man to me.
Yeah and people should stop equating mens worth to how much money he has
I don’t think the judgement is based on a woman wanting sex, its based on their choices, who and how often she has sex with different men. In my experience men who are promiscuous are also judged harshly by women seeking a serious relationship with them. Deciding to have sex with many different people could reveal a lot of things about a person. Many people interpret that behavior as showing lack of commitment, or that the person needs variety/flings on a regular basis. I don’t agree with this judgement myself but I can understand the concern.
While we’re on the topic of disliking society’s imposed standards, can we also stop equating a man’s self-respect or worth on their job or education level?
Thank you for this! So… a guy wants casual sex and it’s OK with no referral to his self-worth. But then a female wants it and she automatically has no self-worth?
Sometimes this site just makes me depressed. Like what the hell is wrong with some of these people. As long as your loyal in a long term relationship does it really matter if the person liked casual sex. I personally like more of an emotional connection but that’s me. Not every human is gonna be the same.
People who sleep around. Increase there chances of getting STDs I don’t think it’s a very good idea for anyone to have that type of lifestyle because it can spread the STDs to other people. Just be safe out there make sure to use protection.
yea I don’t want a man with that many partners if I don’t have that much
I don’t do that shit, so I would judge someone based on them doing that shit.
People who have casual sex aren’t my type? I think it’s gross? I would not sleep with someone on the first date and if they implied they would I would not see them for a second date.