Dating : Should I stop dating?
24(F). A year and a half ago, a unhealthy relationship I was in had ended. Which was fine. After the relationship I had started dating. It was unsuccessful, so I told myself I needed a break. After awhile I started to become paranoid about how single I am at my age and have become terrified of being alone forever. I started taking dating sites seriously and began going on dates. Each person I date, I have been on multiple dates with but some way or another, on my end. I become detached or closed off. I’ll message the men on the websites but feel too tired to constantly keep up with the back and forth messages. Every profile I look at I say to myself “no I don’t find them attractive” and then feel horrible for judging them like that. I end up deleting the profiles, stop messaging the men for a couple days but then reactivate my profile because I’ll get scared that I’ll be alone. I’ve been comparing myself to my close friends and family members (that are my age) that are already married with children. A couple months ago I had checked on a few of my ex’s profiles to compare how successful their dating lives are currently going and catch myself thinking that maybe there’s something I could’ve done and I wouldn’t be single right now. I’m not sure what to do?
As a single almost 37 year old man, I say don’t give up. Especially not so early.
See a therapist. It sounds like you know the attachment problem is yours.
I’ve been single for a while myself but I’ve also grown to enjoy my own company overtime while diving into hobbies I have and doing a few things I never gotten the chance to do before.
Maybe you can try something similar and take it slow, every person has his/her own time maybe yours may be tomorrow or the day after so don’t give up I’m sure you’ll find the right guy.
So, are a lot of dudes on OLD trying to hit YOU up?
Taking a break is great! And don’t want compare your life to others, they’re not you and you are not them.
I’m 39m and in the middle of a year off because I just haven’t enjoyed OLD at all lately.
I’m just trying to be happy, centred and self cared. I’ll get back to it when I feel like it but since OLD is awful I’m not willing it yet.
It’s healthy to take time off, make dating the least of your priorities and stresses for a while and fortify your life for a while.
You have so much time ahead of you. It’s ok to be picky especially if you’re looking to spend the rest of your life with some one. Dont give up hope, definitely don’t settle. It will only make the relationship worse.
First, breathe and relax. Really, you are soooo young. Your whole life is truly ahead of you.
Second, maybe consider a therapist to at least address your anxiety/attachment?
Finally, keep your head up!!! It’s okay to take a break but really you never know when you are going to meet Mr. Right. It is could be just organically as through OLD.
You sound almost exactly like me (25F)—I got out of a serious relationship about 8 months ago and since then have done a lot of dating (both through online dating and traditional meeting people and going on dates) and I keep ending things on my end. The guys will be sweet and nice and we’ll go on a few dates but then I just decide it’s not right for me, will end things and then hop back on Hinge because I’m scared of ending up alone. I’ve been considering seeing a counselor to talk and see if past relationship issues might be a part of this, and seeing if I should take time to be actively alone for a little while and let something happen naturally.
I guess not a lot of advice in this response, but I hope you feel a little less alone in your feelings!