Dating : Should I take this as a sign he’s no longer interested?
I (22f) met a guy at a party a few months ago and we had a flirt but lost eachother by the end of the night. We matched on tinder about two weeks ago and he said he remembered me and asked if I wanted to get drinks. We had a really good first date together last Thursday and then met up again the following Tuesday. In between these dates we were messaging pretty consistently.
Turns out he’s moving away for 10 weeks to do an internship this Wednesday. We spoke about the situation and he said « let’s stay friends for now, and when I’m back, if we’re both up for it we can start dating. ». I said to him we could just be friends if he’d rather (I wanted him to be straight with me about how he feels) but he reasserted his position.
So after that conversation after our second date, we had a small gap in communication but then he messaged me to see how I am. I replied but then his messages became more and more infrequent. The last message I sent him more than a day ago but he still hasn’t read it or replied.
I think it would be a bit unrealistic for us to have an ongoing conversation for 10 weeks on Facebook, when things can’t progress in person, so I’m sort of fine with this situation. However,
we sort of said to eachother that we’d message a little over Facebook, so I don’t know if him failing to do so is a sign he’s lost interest.
I guess my question is whether it would be appropriate to message him when we’re back in the same city to ask him for another date or if his gap in communication is a sign he’s not actually interested anymore and just used the distance as an excuse. I’m not planning on putting my dating life on hold for the next 10 weeks, but if I’m single when he returns, I don’t want to set myself up for disappointment by overlooking a sign he is trying to fade away.
It could be that he’s been too busy preparing for the move to be able to respond.
If you like him, then just continue to message him. Even if he hasn’t responded, you could still send a message saying you hope the move went well, or that he is enjoying himself. You know, simple things to show you care and are interested. If you’re not interested, then leave him be I guess.
Also, guys don’t over analyse things like girls do. He may not even realise its been a day, especially if he’s been busy. There could be so many simple reason for this delay that don’t mean he’s lost interest. So stay positive 🙂
It could also be that he just doesn’t want to lead you on for 10 weeks and have you wait for something neither of you can promise the other.. in these cases sometimes it’s even better to not be in contact too much cause you won’t know how the situation will be in 10 weeks and he doesn’t want to disappoint or hurt you, or even get hurt himself. Right now I’m in the same ‘internship/dating situation’ after having gone out with a guy for 2 months. He told me he preferred not being in too much contact cause it will make the time more difficult as we’re far apart. He also told me we can see after this time, but we can’t promise each other anything as we don’t know how life goes.. stay strong, I know how you are feeling.