Dating : Should I tell her who I was and the bad things I have done while I confess my feelings to her?
I’ll be honest, I’m not a good guy. Never was. I am a guy with severe anxiety, and I stalk people to get to know them (online only) . It’s just my way of understanding humans. I never ever talk to the people I stalk, and I don’t stalk the few people I am friends with. Whatever info I gain from it, just stays in my head. I never use it.
So there was this girl in my class, and as usual I stalked her online. I didn’t know I would actually become friends with her, and start having feelings for her. I never tried to get close to her, I stayed where I usually stay, unnoticed but due to some weird turn of events led us working together in a few classes and now has made me one of her close friends.
Since I started having feelings for her, I have completely stopped stalking anyone, and I have even stopped observing poeple irl. She has since told me about herself and I act like I didn’t know it before. I can remember all the things she told me vs the things I found out myself, thanks to my stupid memory.
I really feel guilty now, if I tell I like her and she likes me back, I’ll have to tell her about myself either now or in the future. I never told her I was a good guy and in the conversations we had I had said I have done some bad things in my life and I am not a good person. I can hide it from her forever, no one knows, not even my close friends, I like keeping secrets. But I know it’ll eat me from the inside if I don’t tell her, what do I do?
I’m using a throwaway account for a few reasons mainly because I feel guilty about this. Until now I knew it was a bad thing but it didn’t hurt anyone. It’s just me knowing stuff and keeping my brain occupied.
If your goal is to actually be with her, I’d suggest not telling her who you were and immediately cease all stalking activity.