Dating : So I tried to do something tell me what I did wrong?
So I spent some time reading the r/dating and some Tips I found very interesting and helpful. But for the love of God. I cannot seem to make anything work. Here are few things you might want to know about me.
I am 25, male, 183 cm, 85 kg, dark brown hair and really dark brown eyes (you need to get 5 cm from my face to actually see the brown color). I moved to Germany 3 years ago and even tho most people are amazed by my German skills I am still not 100% fluent and you can imagine how hard it is to woo a woman even in your native language. Now imagine doing it in some other.
I am quite pessimistic but I am doing the good old fake it till you make it trick so trying to be more optimistic when talking to people. I have to say it is working I am really starting to be more optimistic even when not faking. I would say I am average looking but feel below average (there is the pessimism).
So I am in process of finding friends that might connect me to someone in future but it is a slow process. Meanwhile I am trying to find someone on my own. I tried approaching Women. Few times I tried confidence and just walked up telling them what actually drew my attention to them. Each time the reply was something along the lines of: « Umm thanks, but you are not my type ». Alright. So I decided to go with being overly nice… That backfired. I am not even gonna waste my time here all said they have a boyfriend even when I knew they did not. I guess when someone is nice to you you make up an excuse not to be the bad guy. I cannot blame anyone.
I tried to focus on my own life. Improve and overly make my self more « high value » but I am not sure any more what qualities make a man more high value… I read, know few languages, have quite a few casual interests and 2-3 dedicated hobbies where I am quite good at. I have a good stable job and an above average income. I have a stable life, my own apartment that I earned on my own, have social live and I am so curious about life that you will have hard time finding something I will flat out decline doing. I like think of my self as loyal and honest I am ready to help when I can. Like how can I improve more? What else do I need to do to make someone like me or no actually. Small steps. How can I just make someone want to get to know me?
You need to like yourself man. Lack of self esteem sucks but you need to know your worth too. Don’t just better yourself to make yourself a better catch, do things you actually enjoy doing. If you like art, go to museums and classes, if you like books, go to libraries, if you like music, get involved in the local music scene.
The more you actively enjoy your own interests, the more like minded people you will meet. The more like minded people you meet, the better chances you have of finding some one that is interested in you.
You don’t want to date just any body ideally, you want somebody that enjoys similar things and when you’re doing things you enjoy genuinely, you send out better vibes.