Dating : Splitting the bill: Is it a red flag for a guy to not be open to letting the woman pay?
Hi all, 22F here.
Generally, I let the guy pay for the first date if he insists. However, after that I expect to split the costs of dates pretty evenly. I was unemployed for a bit, and started seeing a guy during that time. He covered most costs, but I tried to intentionally pick things that were low cost and we usually just settled for chilling at his place.
I told him I’d take him out when I got hired, and spoil him with my first paycheck. Well, I didn’t really get to plan a great date (we’ve both been very busy), but I intended to pay when we went out to dinner. He refused. I wasn’t going to get into an argument in the restaurant, so we split it 50/50.
My ego was really hurt. I felt disrespected. I honestly feel this is a red flag for a long term relationship, as I feel like he doesn’t want us to be equals.
What are your thoughts?
Maybe he realized money was an issue for you and was wanting to help you out?
Maybe he has some control issues?
No enough info here to say.
I expect the guy to pay on the first date. After that we can either take turns picking up the check or splitting.
A guy here. I always pay on dates, unless she insists otherwise.
Offer to pay.
When you said you would spoil him with your first paycheck, he didn’t want you spending it on him so soon (since you need the money).
Here is what you do. Next time you plan a date, during a trip to the ladies’ room, pull your waitress aside and pay the bill. Overpay and she can bring your change at the end of the meal.
Now you have paid for dinner. If the guy makes a stink about it, then that’s the final date because he has control issues. If he gives a gracious thank you, then things are ok.