Dating : Struggling to connect with Americans

Dating : Struggling to connect with Americans

First of all thank you to everyone who responded to my last post here (What they really mean), even if I didn’t interacted a lot due to mental condition but I have read all of your comments. Thank you.

As an immigrant living here in the United States since 2017, I find it very challenging to connect with Americans when it comes to dating, im 31 y/o gay, so I am basically looking for 31 to 45 y/o, so basically not into younger than me, and not too old either that we would end up having nothing in common due to age gap. I know it is extremely difficult to find a good match in the gay world, I am also surprised to find out is not that shiny and glowing in the straight world as well.
The only time I had a mutual connection with an American is when I was living in rural Oregon in during the fall of 2017, but things were bit complicated back then and it would be impossible to have a relationship.
Since I moved back to NYC in 2019, I never had a genuine connection even sexual with an American, it’s always a one time date or a one time sex, the only American guys who seem interested in me are guys older than 50.
On the flip side, I had genuine connections with Europeans, even if they didn’t lead to the outcome that I truly want (wich is a Long-term relationship), but I could see that there was something, like multiple dates, good sex, or even friendship. Actually the only 3 guys I felt something for since I moved to New York were 3 Europeans(a French, a British and a German), im still friend with the French guy(who recently told me that he wants to go back to Europe cause he’s having the same problem, he can’t find genuine connections with Americans).

When I put my tinder in Europe, I can have hundreds of matches in a week and endless conversations, but due to the distance and also with travel it’s almost impossible to have a follow up. On the other hand, I rarely get matches when I put my profile locally and when I do the conversations always end up dry and one of us will quickly lose interest.

I met a guy in 2019, before I moved to NYC, he lives in DC, he didn’t want to get serious, he kept saying that I’m too far, but now he’s in a serious relationship with someone who lives in Philly(while he keeps asking me to have sex with him, I recently ask him why he wants chose the other guy over me, he honestly said that he always saw me as a sex friend, nothing more. On the flip side, I met this Austrian guy at the gym, we were both attracted to each other, but he said he can’t go any further cause he’s in a relationship(that was a great sign of respect for me), and now we’re friends and he’s the person I chat the most with on WhatsApp, like basically everyday.

Sometimes I wonder if the problem is me, or if it’s a cultural shock, I don’t know. And wonder if some of you have noticed that pattern.

P.S: I was born in Haiti, lived there til 21, and also spent 5 years living in Dominican Republic.