Dating : Texting every day after first date- I don’t know how to handle this
Hi guys,
I (30M) haven’t dated since college and I just got back on the horse now. And I’m getting used to what dating is like in your 30s vs 20s. And it seems like a different ballgame with dating apps. So I got a question.
This gal and I had an awesome coffee date. Ever since that day, she’s been sending me texts to see how I’m doing. And it becomes an hour long text exchange.
Don’t get me wrong. I love the attention. I forgot what it was like to have someone really care about you. And out of the four who I’m feeling out, she’s the one who I really like the most. If I’m arranging dates, she’s my priority. But I feel like at this rate, we’re going to have nothing to talk about on our 2nd date.
Any advice? Should I just enjoy it? She must really like me. Or is this some tactic to shoo me away?
What makes it more exhausting is that this isn’t just her, but two other girls are doing the same exact thing! Again, I like it but we’re going to have nothing to talk about on the 2nd date!
If it’s exhausting stringing three girls along at the same time then ditch one or two of them.
You passed the first chemistry test. Now just talk about random stuff during the week and do activities on your dates. Send each other articles from news about stuff that interests you. This is how you can get to know each other.
If you are generally good at talking and banter you’ll be fine. Conversations that flow naturally are always a good sign. Text messages are not even close to filling that
This is why I date one at a time. Who the hell has time to juggle dates??
It must suck to be so popular…
Sorry, just being very jealous. I would just try to have the date sooner? But I’ve never done anything like dating so I don’t known. But that’s what I would think.
I was talking to a guy I really liked almost every day and then he suddenly stopped talking to me so I lost interest. I enjoy texting daily to see how the other person is doing even if it’s not for hours a day, just a few here and there at least a few times a week makes me believe that they’re interested in me as well. You don’t have to talk about everything under the sun, just simple things would do and if you like her then you’ll always find something to talk about
It’s an hour long because you continue the texting.
It is OK for you to stop texting when you’re not interested in texting or when you want to save some conversation for later.
This is such a millennial thing. The texting. I hate it too and I’m 25. I hate how people try to get to know me over text when we should just talk in person, but that’s kind of the norm nowadays to do this. I always think about how when my parents were dating, they didn’t have access to one another through an iPhone 24/7. That to me, makes the real face to face time more special. But when you have 24hr access and can talk whenever you want, it takes that away.
It’s just something I’ve learned to accept. Although I am a terrible texter because I don’t prioritize answering. So don’t feel obligated to answer right away so much that it distracts you from whatever else you’re doing. It’s sort of an unspoken understanding that you don’t have to answer right away. A few hours is still acceptable in my option. But I am a tiny bit younger and grew up with technology. But regardless, don’t let it take too much time out of your life! Sigh.
Sounds like this is partly your anxiety getting the best of you. The texting is causing you to worry that you won’t have enough to talk about on dates and that she’ll get tired of you as a result because she might see you as “boring.” If you have a good connection you should be fine on dates and the conversation should flow well enough. You can only talk about so much through text. You can also ask to expand on stuff you chatted about while texting when you’re on a date.
And if you just don’t want to talk much between dates in terms of texting, then this person might not be a good fit for you. It sounds like she enjoys texting.
My advice is to just relax and enjoy her interest in you. You see how it goes movie forward whether you worry or not.
Do you feel duty bound to answer each text?
What have you been doing for the past 9 years, if you don’t mind me asking?
It’s a tactic for sure to get your hopes up don’t fall for it this tactic is done on nice guys you must fit that category since you have time to text them for hours.
https://medium.com/@evolvewithotoki/why-nice-guys-finish-last-5e1b82b1f3b7
When you read this send me a chat if you need some grief