Dating : The hell does this mean? shady texts from guy I’m dating

Dating : The hell does this mean? shady texts from guy I’m dating

I’ve (33, f) been dating this guy (33, m) for a while, we’re in a relationship, and last week we went out to a bar to celebrate something and he folded under the bottom of my shirt on one side, told me to stand in a certain pose, and insisted on taking pictures of me despite my not wanting to… (I don’t like having my picture taken or the situation.)

So today he texts me with the message, « U look cute » with a couple of the pictures below it.

Then after that, he writes a link to a fitness app.

So I reply with, « ? Do I look cute or like I need a fitness app? »

He answers, « You’re cute…. but this site is really good and lots of programs for beginners. I liked it and gonna do the sit up program »

Based on his replies and one of my pictures he sent, what does he really seem to mean?

Obviously no one here is a mind reader, but what impression are you getting? [Picture](

For the record, I try to eat healthy, and do sit ups and pull ups when I can. I have sleep disorders so it’s difficult to do more than that. I also have another health condition where it’s just not possible to get picture perfect flat abs.

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What do you think?

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  1. He sounds like a fucking douche.

    It seems like he’s suggesting you work out or hit the gym. Which is why you’re asking reddit to confirm your suspicions.

    You look fine to me. He sounds like an ass

  2. Wtf , you have a great body ! and he is trying to “subtly” hint you need to get a toned stomach? Little criticisms like this oh dear NO, I’ve been with my boyfriend for many years and apart from piss taking like hey big ears -(I dont have big ears!) he never criticises me , if I asked an opinion ( is my bum big in this ?) he would be truthful – but he has never made me feel self conscious. I wouldn’t accept that behaviour at all, sorry but it’s not acceptable.

  3. What the actual fuck. How have I been single most of my life when there are dudes that do stupid shit like this? He’s trying to be coy and it’s just sad that he’s implying you need to work out. Just pathetic.

  4. >he folded under the bottom of my shirt on one side, told me to stand in a certain pose, and insisted on taking pictures of me despite my not wanting to


    He sorry what… folded, up, your, shirt, on one side…. pose… sorry what?

    That’s so weird I can’t even articulate how weird that is.
    I’m sorry girl, but if you’re in a relationship with this guy, you need to get out of a relationship with him asap before shit gets weirder.

    Your body looks cute as hell, you have great style, and we can’t even see your face yet! You need to bin him.

  5. You look great! Seems like he’s trying to neg you. Life is way too short to spend it with someone who doesn’t fully appreciate you.

    I’d think long and hard whether this is deal breaker behavior.

  6. I would be very cautious. He sounds very controlling. That kind of hands on force while on a date makes me wonder if domestic violence will be a problem in the future. It’s your decision, but please seriously consider leaving him.

  7. Try to be charitable.

    He might be clumsily intimating that he thinks you are a big fatty.

    But it might just be a an innocent « hey check this out » sort of thing but delivered with bad timing and a lack of social grace . Don’t assume the worst intent — us men are just foolish sometimes. Personally I think you should just ignore it for now.

  8. Uh, you have a great figure lol not sure what he’s implying. The idealistic side is thinking poor delivery. He’s just suggesting working out is great for you, etc.

    But in reality I think he’s being an asshole. Idk why he’s even suggesting it.

  9. What a dick. My ex once asked me what I was « going to do for fitness next week » and I shit you not, I internalized it for the rest of our relationship.

    But girl, you already have an amazing body and if he makes you feel anything otherwise, DUMP HIM

  10. Unless you had discussed fitness or fitness apps on the date where he took the pic, it was a douchey comment. I think you have a great figure!

  11. You look good. Nothing wrong with wanting your s.o. to get fit or be a workout buddy if they are up to it and brought up in a way that doesn’t make them self conscious. However, the whole picture thing is definately weird. Without that this would have been questionable. I’m not sure what his goal was with that, but I can’t think of a single reason that doesn’t raise a red flag.

  12. You look phenomenal, so I hesitate to assume he is implying you need some work. I don’t like that he said « You’re cute *but*… »

    You could ask him directly if he wants you to change your body. It’s a hard question, but his answer will be insightful.

  13. Wow! I would put him on the spot and ask him if he is indirectly trying to get you to change for him. No matter what he says I would let him know that you have a long list of his less than desirable traits, but you aren’t an asshole so you plan to keep them to yourself. Then tell him that you hope he meets someone on his new app.

  14. I mean it could be innocent, but you know the guy better than we do. Maybe he legitimately wanted to share the app and liked how you posed. Maybe he’s a jackass dropping a « subtle hint ». If he’s really suggesting that you lose weight – holy crap. Why date guys like this?

  15. Ask him what he meant by that.

    He may be a douche, he may be hinting that he wants to work out with you and is just an idiot in his approach. You don’t know without talking to him.

    Best thing to do, ask him what he meant by the fitness app. You’ll drive yourself crazy asking everyone else what he meant except him.

  16. Your body looks fine. Your fella *very very very* likely thinks you look great. The fitness app and the picture could easily be unrelated. Maybe he wants to work out with you. Maybe he wants to look better for and with his super cute girl. Maybe he just wants to get in shape for himself.


    He’s doing the situp program which means homie probably doesn’t know shiiiiiit about exercise. Is he himself is a beginner in exercising and maybe wants one of those « good programs » to start him off?


    The shirt folding shows off your elegant waist line. Probably why he wanted that folded.

  17. Yeah that does sound quite manipulative.

    Maybe there’s a more innocent explanation? Could his thought process be simply ‘I like working out, it makes me feel good’ -> ‘I want my girlfriend to feel good’ -> ‘she should work out too’?

    Pretty tactless to say it after sending a pic of you, but if he’s not a great communicator it could be a misunderstanding?

    For the record, you look great in the pic and definitely don’t need a healthy lifestyle intervention!

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