Dating : Things were going great and then out of nowhere « I’m not ready for a relationship »
So I (18M) have recently been going out on dates with a girl (18F) and a couple of days ago I asked her out after three dates and a pretty serious make out sesh and she said « took you long enough » in a playful sort of way.
The next day she came over and told me that she wasn’t ready for a relationship.
We used to be childhood friends and recently came back into contact and I don’t think she has had a boyfriend before. I believe that she was all for it but once I asked her out and she said yes, suddenly being in a relationship went from an idea in her head to a reality and she panicked and this is how she reacted.
I haven’t really dated much and so I’m unsure where to go from here, I want to talk to her about it and maybe win her back but I don’t know if I should wait or how I should go about it.
No matter what you do, give her space. Don’t try to win her back or anything.
Just accept her decision and try to move on.
To be honest, I’ve learnt that when somebody tells you they’re not ready for a relationship it usually means one of these two things:
Things are progressing too fast and they just want some space and are honestly not ready to get into anything serious for whatever reason. (plus you may have come on too strong)
They are not interested in a relationship with you and they want to let you down gently.
If it’s the first there might be a chance that if you back off now she’ll eventually give you another chance once she’s ready, but for that to happen you’ll have to just accept it and keep it cool now.
Whatever her reason I’d advise you to do yourself a favor and just forget about it atm, even if it’s hard to accept. At the moment she doesn’t want to be pursued and you should accept that.
Sorry man, but it’s time to move on. When a girl says she isn’t ready for a relationship, that means she isn’t ready for a relationship with you. No point in winning her back (you’ll just look bad) or staying in touch (you might get strung along). Good luck.
If she really love you and she is the one for you she will come back stay strong and hopeful.
I don’t know if you believe in God but i have faith in him, because what he has planned for you will be the best for u.
« I’m not ready for a relationship » is woman codeword for « I don’t find you attractive ». She would happily have a relationship with a 6ft2 hunky male model, just not with you. Women generally « talk around » the issue and rarely ever outright say what they mean. They speak in riddles and expect the man to figure out what they mean. I don’t know whether this is an evolutionary thing, or just that women these days don’t view men as « worthy » of having anything explained to them.