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Dating : Think I Met a Nice Girl, But Past Experience Has Me Freaked Out

Dating : Think I Met a Nice Girl, But Past Experience Has Me Freaked Out


A few months ago, I (25M) met this girl (25F) through a dating app. We live about an hour away from each other, but she has seemed to be really interested in me. Matter of fact, she gave me her phone number while chatting on the app and asked me out the first couple times.

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Because of the distance and out schedules, we’ve only met up in person 3 times. Each time has been pretty great though. Everything is very chaste so far, the furthest we’ve gone is kissing and hand-holding (both initiated by her), but I like that. I like not rushing into anything physical, where the kisses and held hands still carry a lot of meaning.

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Yesterday, however, something happened that really set me back. We were supposed to go out last night. She was gonna drive to my neck of the woods so I wanted to make the trip really worth her while. Reservations at a nice restaurant, drinks on a rooftop bar to watch the sunset, and a walk along the beach while sticking our feet in the water.

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I was already a little nervous/paranoid all week because I wasn’t hearing from her as often as I usually do, and in the recent past, I’ve been burned by girls who initially showed a great deal of interest in me, only to then suddenly lose that interest. Naturally, the good ol’ Anxiety tends to kick in and when I notice signs that look like a repeat of the pattern, it kicks into High Friggin’ Gear.

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Anyway, she hadn’t given me any direct signals that she wanted to cancel. However, she messages me yesterday afternoon super apologetic saying that a whole mess of her coworkers had called in sick to work (suspecting they were nursing hangovers from the 4th of July) and was forced to stay and couldn’t make the date.

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Of course, I was super bummed out, I’d been looking forward to this for a week. But, work’s work, it’s not her fault, so I start rescheduling.

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She tells me she’s about to start dress rehearsals for a theatre show she’s in (I’m also an actor, so I understand what that schedule can be like), and will have a lot more time for dates when the show closes at the end of July. She told me when it was playing too when I asked to come and see it, and even agreed to a FaceTime date or two in the meantime.

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The rational part of my brain is telling me that all of this is perfectly normal and fine. In all likelihood, I just have an overdeveloped « Spidey-Sense » for things going wrong in my love life because in the last year alone I’ve had my heart broken 4 times (twice by the same girl consecutively), and a large number of similarities are emerging.

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But, the girls that broke my heart last year were all pretty immature, and my current dating partner (don’t know if I could call her my girlfriend yet, but I’d sure like to) seems very mature and leads a full life of work she enjoys and time with friends and family.

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Is this just the first time I’ve gone out with a mature woman and not an immature girl?

What do you think?

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