Dating : Tired of getting rejected
I’m a 30 years old male PhD student living in a small college town with a pretty shallow dating pool. Been single for the last two years and am somewhat successful with matches on online dating apps, I go on a first date every 2-3 weeks despite being 5’5” and am trying to make up for it by being very fit. Sadly, nothing ever sticks past the first date. The last five women I went on a date with all said that they’d like to have me as a friend, despite having interesting and fun dates, which is about as cliche as it can get. I actually asked a couple of them, in a non-confrontational way, what made them decide that, as this was starting to worry me. One said she didn’t feel a spark. The other said that she feels stupid when talking with me, not because of me trying to make her feel that way but just because I’m so sharp.
This string of rejections made me delete all my dating apps and suspend all the accounts. All these rejections are just mentally taxing and I don’t see anything I can change about myself that will help me find a relationship. I may rejoin the game in a couple of months but for now I’m going to focus on my research, diet and hobbies. End rant.
Try to take one guess why this keeps happening to you. Do you know the reason? If you’re smart enough to get a PhD you’re smart enough to figure this out too.
Still don’t have it? Okay. I’ll tell you. It’s your height.
I’m 5’7″ so I suffer from this issue too though not to the same extent. There is no point asking women since they will never be honest. They will just say nonsense like « no spark » but you and I both know if they visibly had a great time on that date they would not be saying that if you were 6′ tall.
stop lecturing them on science and learn to flirt
Try to meet more than you can judge, if your talking about science and PhD things I think no one will understand you a least you found. a science girl, flirt with them and make them laugh it’s the key….make them attractive to you…make them see you like a book be a mysterious girls like that….
Mate, ignore the first lad, height isn’t an issue. The harsh reality is that it’s just a numbers game. You’re a smart lad. You got hobbies and work out. Very good start, better than most. How’s your text game? How’s your conversation flow? Are these things you could work on? If so, boom, another area to improve.
But to be honest don’t be too discouraged, it’s just a numbers game and you’ll eventually find the right chick. You haven’t been rejected x amount of times, you’ve found x amount of women that won’t work for you!