Dating : True Colors
So I (29F) went out with someone (30M) I met on an online dating app (not tinder 🔥) and I truly felt a connection! A REAL ONE. Now I go out often and have a very active social life. At the moment, dating isn’t actually on my mind but I accepted an offer to go grab a drink. Like I said, there was a connection and it went very well.
…Maybe too well, I woke up in his bed 🤣
I wasn’t sure if I could expect anything from this because people are weird about sleeping together on the first date. I’m a pretty go with the flow type, but realize not everyone is that way, BUT, the dude texted me after about 3 days and said he wanted to see me again. I was pretty excited, can’t lie.
The second date went pretty well too! He planned the whole thing out, picked me up, paid, the works. Naturally, I was charmed! Again, we went back to his place and nothing felt forced or even weird. We kept connecting on so many levels. I was stoked!
During our hookup I realized he was in a strange mood she snapped when I “scratched” him. Like, I was excited. It’s called passion, ever heard of it? Whatever, he snapped again saying he doesn’t want marks on his body and it kinda threw me off, threw the whole mood off tbh.
I asked if I should go and at first he said “if I wanted to.” He then took a moment and asked me to give him a minute. It was so late, like 4am and he told me to stay, he didn’t want me to go, etc. So I stayed, we talked, he cuddled me and that was that.
** one weird thing that stuck out was that he said by me scratching or choking him made him feel like I was going to hurt him… fucking weird. I’m just trying to get my basic kinks going, but ok. Lol **
The next morning was somewhat off, but I took it as he wanted his space or alone time and that’s fine. He still made me coffee, we talked about conspiracies and Shit, and he drove me home. I appreciated that. It was a longish drive, not too awkward. He apologized later that same day for being moody and snappy. That made me happy bc it showed he’s self aware and willing to communicate.
For the next two days we texted here and there, nothing crazy. He wanted to go out again. I was busy this upcoming weekend and he told me to let him know when I could get together and to have a nice week. Maybe it wasn’t meant to me rude, but I felt it a little dismissing And strange. Like why can’t we still talk through text? Do you not want to get to know me? So I mentioned something to that degree and it got weird from there. He removed me from Snapchat and that was that.
Soooo was I just being lead to be a hookup? Idk. I don’t date around with multiple ppl, nor hookup with strangers every week. I’ve had steady relationships throughout my life. I’m just not that casual.
Idk. I need dating tips lol.
How do I actively date ppl while being open and not getting my feelings hurt each time?
How would you have reacted?
>During our hookup I realized he was in a strange mood she snapped when I “scratched” him. Like, I was excited. **It’s called passion, ever heard of it? Whatever,** he snapped again saying he doesn’t want marks on his body and it kinda threw me off, threw the whole mood off tbh.
>He **wanted to go out** again. **I was busy** this upcoming weekend and **he told me to let him know when I could get together** and to have a nice week. Maybe it wasn’t meant to me rude, but I felt it a little dismissing And strange.
A flippant attitude toward something he didn’t like during sex? Blaming him for being dismissive because he asked you when you wanted to date after you told him you were busy?
It sounds to me like **you** were the one who revealed your true colors to **him**.
Hmmm… the only thing I maybe would’ve done would have apologized for scratching and crossing a boundary, and that as long as I knew about them I wouldn’t cross them.
Otherwise it sounds like maybe he wasn’t sure what he wanted. Also, maybe he didn’t like texting – I would’ve asked if he wanted to call me instead. Honestly though, who knows! You can only do so much. If someone doesn’t appreciate you and your time, I say you’re better off without them, because then you can find someone who does.
I think you did fine! Dating can suck sometimes and people are confusing. Just gotta move on to the next one. 🙂
Does he have another gf or a secret wife?
Ahh if he was abused the scratching and choking ghouls have quite literally be a trigger for him. If he was in a mood it would have more likely to trip him up and recover from. But he asked you to text when your free, so why not just text when your free?
He tried to set something up again, and you said you were busy, as guys we are taught to take this as a sign you aren’t interested and back off. He opened the door to let you make the next date so he wouldn’t be seen as clingy. After that you reacted with what could be perceived as anger/irritability, at which point he probably thought it was over. You have to realize, the fine line guys have to tread between being aloof and clingy is razor fucking thin.
You took it too seriously a little too soon. Maybe he’s not a big texter, I know a lot of guys who don’t text unless it’s to make plans cause being on their phone can be annoying. Also, he left the door open for you to plan something because he doesn’t know your schedule and since he had already planned something when you were busy he just gave you the freedom to check your schedule.
He deleted you from snapchat cause he doesn’t want to stay in touch on snapchat anymore. He probably lost interest completely, but don’t get clingy. Maybe send him a text asking if he wants to meet up and suggest a date and a plan, if he wants to do it then go for it and take it slow. Don’t assume he is dismissive or doesn’t like you or whatever cause honestly, if a guy doesn’t want to see you ir talk to you, he won’t. So if he replies and goes out with you again, then he is interested.
How many kids do you have?