Dating : What does it mean when a girl pays for the first date tab?
Went on a date yesterday with someone I met on bumble. we had a decent conversation, she was intelligent/attractive and seemed fun. the dated ended after about hour and a half and I didnt get the initial impression that she was very interested. I would give it a go again – it takes time to get to know someone.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and she had already paid the (60 dollar) tab, even though I had by far the most expensive drinks.
what the heck does this mean? I thought she was not really interested, yet she paid for the tab, so now I’m confused.
I would think 1 of 2 things.
1. She asked you out, and because she was the asker she felt obligated.
2. She wasn’t interested, and to minimize your expectations, she paid. SOME (Not all, and not even most, but some) guys think dates are transactional. They pay, and expect something in return. By paying, she doesn’t ‘owe’ you anything.
She paid for the tab so you don’t feel entitled to anything from her. Unfortunately there are a lot of shitty entitled people out there, so we tend to do this as a preventative tactic if we know we aren’t interested. So she prob is not interested.
If you think it went bad chances are she does too.
Paying for the tab doesn’t mean shit. If anything she might think you’re broke and went to the restroom to avoid paying. She might think you’re lame and wants nothing to do with you, so she paid the tab to avoid any bullshit.
I play devils advocate to help you see another POV.
Maybe she just wanted to be nice 🙂
the only time a women will pay for a man is when she dont give two shits about you lol
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basically what all these ladies are saying in the comments
Female speaking, in my perspective I don’t think it will mean that she isn’t interested. I like to at least pay for half the bill and I always offer to pay for all of it. It’s just how I am. It usually comes down to splitting it, unless they are very insistent on paying it all. It’s the same if I am still into or not. Again, that’s just me. You’ll hear females say they do it Bc they aren’t interested, and many guys feel the same. Maybe I’m the minority.
Why are you asking Reddit and not her?
You’re making assumptions, and that’s all we can do too. She could’ve seemed disinterested for 1000 reasons that have nothing to do with you, and her paying for the tab could mean anything from « I don’t want to see you again » to « I definitely want to see you again ».
If you’re into her, just ask her out on a second date and see how it goes.
I always offer to pay/split but I will definitely insist on paying if I’m not interested. I don’t want to owe anyone anything.
I don’t think she is interested in you but that’s just my opinion.
Really interesting!
Since we were not there its hard to say. Maybe that amount of money for her didnt sound that much so she paid whitout thinking, she could have also (I think it could more go that way) felt guilty for things not working out and just wanted to pay respecfully to just close things in a nice way. It already happened to me and I always felt it was such a unusual fun experience and even left with good memories of what could have been a more bitter ending. Or at least thats how I see things! But considering you tought she wasnt really interested I would suggest to follow your guts and see it as a positive way to close things up. But who knows!
Was she the one who asked you out?
When on a first date I always approach it as friends getting to know each other and try (emphasis on try) not to over think it or wonder if they’re interested. Either we hang out again, become friends, or never speak again. All that being said I offer to pay and I always get a good judge of character if they offer to split! I’ve never had a girl pay the full tab when first meeting. I’d be so taken back and honestly super into it. That’s super attractive to me. Maybe she just wanted to make a kind gesture!
Female (22) here- I always try to at the very minimum pay for my tab on the first date. I consider myself pretty old-fashioned and genuinely appreciate the lengths a man goes to in order to be a chivalrous date. That being said, I also don’t think that a man should always have to pay for the first date (what if I was a terrible time????).
Anyways, I figure it’s only fair to pay or split the first time around. If the man is truly interested in taking me out again after the first time, I happily do not object to being treated to a second date. It may just be that she feels the same way I do. Of course, if you *strongly* got the impression that she wasn’t interested as a result of other actions……that’s a different story!
Personally I don’t think about what does this or that mean. If you’re interested, ask to see her again, then you’ll have your answer.
Sounds like she may have been interested and suggest picking up the tab for her next time. She wouldn’t have been interested if she would have made you pay.
It means that she’s into you
Hell, my opinion is that she likes you if she paid the bill. Ffs, I have never had a date pay the bill, either they let you pay it or offer to split it 50/50. (33 M)
I used to do this when I was younger and dating waaayy below my tax bracket. I learned I needed to drive the point home early that I have money. More money than you. By a fuck ton. And I needed to know there were ok with that. That it wasn’t a threat to their masculinity.
And then the next evolution of my learning taught me to not do that and to never accept a date outside of my tax bracket.
She wants to be seen as the alpha in the relationship. Cuck it up homes. If that’s your thing. If not you might want to go onto a date site that doesn’t require women to be the aggressors. Aggressive women equal aggressive tendencies. Not hot.