Dating : What’s the deal with men (and women) not being able to own up to breadcrumbing?

Dating : What’s the deal with men (and women) not being able to own up to breadcrumbing?

Seriously, what’s up with guys that text a woman and flirt her up on the daily, only to never make plans to meet her again?

This happens even with guys I go out with multiple times, not just on one date. I’ll even ask upfront if the guy is still interested and he’ll respond saying that he is. We’ll usually schedule another date immediately after I ask, have what seems like a good time, and then… Pretty much nothing but meaningless daily texts and half-naked/naked photos from the guy until I get bored of him and move on to someone else.

It seems to be a common thing thing so I’m assuming the guy just comes up with a BS response to keep me on the line. I’m pretty sure this is the very definition of breadcrumbing but even when I call a dude out on it specifically, he’ll swear that’s not his intention. But… What tf, if you’re interested in someone, you make the time to see them, right?

I’m sure men aren’t the only ones that do this but I just don’t understand the point. If you’re not interested, why not just ghost? I don’t get the daily texting and pretending to care angle. It’s got to be exhausting and I feel like it’s a waste of my time and his – when we could both use that time better by moving on to someone else.

I have thought that maybe it’s me. Maybe I should be putting out more of an effort and initiating meeting up more? I have tried before and make comments and inquiries like « so when am I going to see you again ». Those often go ignored and, again, it’s not until I ask if the guy is still interested that he makes an effort to actually see me again. It’s frustrating and annoying.

What are your thoughts on this type of behavior?

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What do you think?

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  1. They just string you along to see if you’ll have sex with them/send nudes, chances are they aren’t interested in much past that.

  2. Women and men both do this because they have seen what you have have to offer and can keep their options open without offering YOU anymore effort for the time being.

  3. They do it because you let them. It’s shitty, but in this age more and more people are like that. They don’t want to let you go – you might give them something or be there when they’re bored. You stop talking for you.

    What bothers me is when they lie and act like what they’re doing is okay. Fuck that noise – just be honest with me. I’m not going to be mad that you’re talking to other people just don’t dick me around and act like you’re oh so into me when you treat me like shit. That’s bullshit!

    Some people are narcissists and really do think they’re shit doesn’t stink. I dated one girl that was totally fucked in the head, but because she’s hawt, she gets away with it. 3 months in I was ready to kill her, so I got the fuck away from her toxic games. Ain’t no dick or pussy worth all that – I don’t care how nice the wrapper is or how sweet their lies, it’s fucking bullshit and I deserve better. You do too.

  4. Have seen this (without the nudes). I think it’s just to get the txts & feel like someone’s out there responding. An ego boost or crutch

  5. I didn’t get a second date. I was asked out on a second date…..With no follow thru. So I thought maybe it was bc I didn’t show enough interest, so I expressed my interest. To which I still never got the second date. BUT he’s always the first to comment on my fb AND IG photos, and sends me Instagram DMs when he watches my instastories.

    I don’t get it!!!!

  6. Because why would a manipulator let you call them out on their manipulations? They aren’t going to do that lol. You have to cut them off and move on.

  7. Sounds like you’re dating guys with a lot of options, and those options are taking up a lot more of their time than you. Date guys without those options, they’ll be 100% into you.

  8. Maybe they just think they’re being polite by replying? And they don’t want to be insulting or harsh by rejecting you outright?

    Most people ghost or let things trail off like this because they don’t want to deal with an unpleasant confrontation or hurting someone’s feelings.

    Bottom line – He has better options, he’s not interested in you, he’s afraid of confrontation, he’s got other problems in life – Pick one or some combo of the above.

  9. You’re probably really nice but unattractive or really attractive and not very nice. Just keep trying until you find someone you connect with.

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