Dating : When do you disclose?
F(47) new to the dating scene following a 20y relationship. I have a visible birth defect that doesn’t impede me in any way, but is (and has been) proven to be disconcerting to others. Although it is visible, it is often unnoticed for extended periods of time.
Do I disclose this before a first date? Wait for it to be « discovered »? Hide it until a second date and then introduce? Not mention it until noticed / asked? Add it to my dating profile?
Thank you for your thoughts.
Maybe bring it up in conversation? But not like, oh btw I have to tell you I have…
I suppose it depends on what it is and how you want to present yourself (e.g. do you want strangers to ask you about it?). Certainly you want to find someone who is okay with it. Someone might even grow to love it about you. Some “defects” are pretty minor — we’re all imperfect.
It’s hard to say what approach is best. Generally, I can’t imaging bringing up a birth defect on a first date… at least not on the first dates that I go on when we’re just trying to figure each other out! Maybe bring it up when it’s relevant (e.g. when asked), or sometime after that first date where you’ve already built up an initial rapport and see how they respond.
you tease. you didnt even tell us what it is lol.