Dating : Why is it so difficult for a man to find a loving relationship in today’s dating world?
I’m 25M. I never thought dating and relationships would be so difficult to FIND. It takes me about a year to find a girl I truly connect with. Then I go out on one date and it’s over. I’ve been looking for almost 3 years now and I’ve only been in 2 serious relationships and both of them ended after 2 months.
I understand the making it work part is difficult but finding one itself is a nightmare.
Why is it like this? Is there some kind of trick that I am unaware of?
Tl;dr: find a relationship is a nightmare, why?
Couldnt have been very serious if you were only together for 2 months?
There is no trick. It’s because there’s so many people now that the competition is far more intense than you might realize. These days, to get a good partner, you have to be a good ‘salesman.’ Would you ‘buy’ you? Why? What makes you better than the other guy who’s eying her? Why do you deserve her more than anyone else? How will you make her life better?
These are the things women subconsciously ask when considering a guy for a date/serious relationship.
Mid-twenties can be a tough time for a man.
Likely not in an academic environment but have not yet advanced in career.
I am finding that if by skill or luck you can socialize with groups of women in their late twenties it changes completely.
Because of social media and dating apps, it seems women never want to settle down. They have an endless buffet of guys to choose from and can always get that attention going on dates. It’s rough, since it looks like most everyone in their 20’s are getting into relationships or married.
It’s a complicated answer. Some of it is economic (people need to prioritize school or careers, move for work, spend more time working to support themselves), some of it is social (the rise of dating apps and the paradox of choice, people don’t have to marry their neighbor or other local candidate who is the same age), some of it is personal (younger people seem more afraid of conflict, getting hurt, or taking responsibility). Frankly you can pick and choose any of these (or others I didn’t mention) and still be correct.
The thing I do want to emphasize, OP, is that this just isn’t a problem men have. There are countless women out there wondering the exact same thing, who are dying for the same kind of loving relationship you want. I want to make that clear because going down the road of blaming women is dangerous and will only make you less appealing to them.
You are more than welcome to be frustrated by dating, and to think that people suck. But just remember that it’s both genders who are responsible for this suckiness, and both genders who have to deal with it.
A lot of it comes down to economics. People are struggling and they want to struggle less, and economics is their day to day whether they realize it or not, it dictates everything, what they do during the day and what they can afford to do in their free time if they even have any. So one of the biggest parts of consideration is what can the other person bring to my life financially, at least on the female side of things. So the more secure you become, after having advanced far enough in your career, the more attractive you become and the easier it is for you to find someone that wants to be with you. Its become less and less about the human aspect and more and more about the financial aspect.
There are exceptions, but they are few and usually come with other related problems.
I guess what I’m saying is the trick is to not be poor.