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Dating : Why would a girl turn me down TWICE? Then act flirtatious in real life and decide to go out with me?

Dating : Why would a girl turn me down TWICE? Then act flirtatious in real life and decide to go out with me?


I asked this girl I liked out once and she said no. She said she’s not a relationship person. And at first she thought I was joking. Ouch.

About 6 months pass and I’ve been talking to her very frequently during this time and I decide to ask her out again. Since we both know each other much better and I still like her, I figure it’s worth a shot. She talks about how dating is scary and all this stuff and how she doesn’t want to date but ultimately she’s just turning me down again. Well, fuck.

We keep talking for a few more weeks and since I still enjoy her company I decide to invite her to my house to watch a movie. She says yes. I didn’t say it was a date or anything. I just genuinely wanted to spend some time with her. Everything is going well. We’re talking a lot it seems like she likes me (this was the first time we have hung out 1 on 1 btw). Then on the couch we were doing this like play fighting thing where I was trying to take something from her. She was laughing and it was all very playful. I decide to reach my arm behind her to grab whatever we were fighting for and when we stopped I just kinda left it there. So now my arms around her and I’m worried she won’t be into it but then she leans onto me and puts her head on my chest. Later she reached her arm across my lap and I decided to try and hold her hand. She gripped my hand in hers. We stay in this position for the rest of the movie. After the movie we went on a walk and held hands.

Later that night I mentioned how she acted like this despite rejecting me twice. And she was like “yeah I can be confusing”. So like wtf. Could someone explain this? Why would she act like this? Is this common?

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What do you think?

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  1. She was using you for all the attention you were giving her. She acted affectionate on your movie non-date because that was just the mood she was in and she probably didn’t have anything better to do that night. Don’t get attached to her! She will be on a date with another guy within a week or two. Here’s a good rule of thumb with women: if a girl really likes you you can’t get rid of her. She’ll go out of her way to be with you. You’ll be talking to your friends and she’ll just suddenly appear next to you. That’s not what this girl is doing based on your narrative. Do not get attached!

  2. You are in the friend zone. In her mind, you are a toy she she can take for granted. What’s really going to upset you is when she starts dating another guy

  3. If she says she can be confusing, believe her. She may like you, or she may just like the attention and validation you give her. Tread cautiously, she may end up stringing you along.

  4. people are a complex bundle of emotions and neurosis’, perhaps she doesn’t know what she wants herself, she may not want to be in a defined relationship, but still have the closeness/intimacy of being in a relationship. Many people nowadays think dating automatically means bf/gf, you might try asking her out again and specifying that you’re not looking for a committed relationship immediately

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    p.s. no one can tell you what’s going on in someone else’s head, some people can’t even tell you what’s going on in their own, the only way to find out is to have a serious conversation

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