Dating : women: making the first move does not make you seem desperate or crazy!
One my first date with my now husband, I knew right away I was really into him. Normally I would have been way too shy and awkward to make the first move but I really wanted to show him how much I liked him. I texted my best friend and told her I wanted to kiss him. She replied with something like « omg DONT, men need to make the first move or it will come across that ur easy or crazy ».
Later on during our ‘date’ (we went for a walk to the beach), we sat beside each other and talked. he turned around to point out something behind us and I just went for it. A big ol’ smooch on the cheek. He turned and looked at me and I kissed him again, on the lips.
We are now married with a baby and he always tells me how special that moment was for him.
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So ladies, GO FOR IT 🙂 Lifes too short
Very very true lol. My best friend made the first move and now she’s my girlfriend. When that happened I was beyond words. It only took 5 years of flirting and being best friends lmao. And it’s been the best freaking ride ever!!! So ladies definitely go for it I encourage you 🙂
Absolutely true. Women showing their passion for a man is a major turn-on. Actually just sitting around and waiting for the man to do something if you clearly want it is almost a tiny turn-off.
In general, if you are interested, ask! There are several times in my life where I found out much later about women who wanted me to ask them out and I either thought they were out of my league (still think so, but if they didn’t know it, why not?) or i never saw an opportunity. Don’t mind saying it bums me out.
But, all the same rules about how and accepting whatever response you get… Anything that applies to a man asking will apply to a woman asking.
To clarify since this will inevitably be misinterpreted.
Men enjoy when women ask them out. This *does not* mean that men will like any woman that asks them out. Not at all. If you ask men out you will absolutely be rejected sometimes, this isn’t some silver bullet to get any man you want. Men that aren’t interested won’t magically become interested just because you made the first move.
I made a first move like 2-3 times (maybe more) and it also turned out great. In fact, those guys were very glad that i did so. I mean, i assumed they liked me too but were shy or a little bit insecure, overthinking much or whatever, so i just went fot it and it turned out i was right.
Anyway, i knew some girls who would often complain how guys would not approach them in the clubs or call out and how they are « lame », « not real men » or whatever. But HEEEY, they never wanted to do so themselves.
In their « defence », they do believe how they are not suppose to do such things as perhaps those guys would see them as « less feminine » and would dislike them in return.
However, i really never met a guy (both among partners and guy friends) who would dislike to be approached/asked out by a girl. Like, even if they don’t necessarily like her, they would still be flattered and happy it happened.
Besides, it is actually much easier for a female to do it since there are hardly the cases that a guy would react in some mean, rude or entitled way. (But we know that many girls may end up reacting *not so nice*).
Basically every single man would be happy to be asked out by a woman.
Today as I was walking through the mall, this girl straight up asked for my number.
I was so shocked in her boldness lol, but it turns out she was underage :/ I’m 21, she was 17.
Overall, I recommend all girls/women to be this bold, it was so refreshing lol.
I feel like if a person knows they are into a person they should be honest about it no matter if they are a guy or girl.
Actually, most of the guys I’ve dated or had serious relationships with, I made the first move! And I’ve never had a bad reaction (you gotta read the room, can always ask permission too) and I find it makes them feel very special. This should be normalised.
Confidence is sexy!!!
Iv’e always asked my boyfriends out or given my number to a guy i found cute when i was single. It was easy for me to do, but they’d usually stop talking to me for who knows what reason. I always assumed it was something i said; but iv never had it go very wrong.
I even asked out my very first puppy love. Iv just found it kinda normal. Iv always thought if i want that person im going to get them im not going to wait for them to notice i like them. It should be normalized
As a woman, I’ve never regretted a first kiss I’ve initiated.
Tfw no guy has ever liked me enough to actually make the first move so I get stuck doing it every time only to get rejected or ghosted a few days later
I’m in this place right now. I initiated our interlingua introducing myself. He’s put forth effort twice but now I feel like I want to do something and be the lead. He was receptive ☺️. We are making plans for Sunday.
I understand that asking out a guy would mean you don’t have any regrets. I kind of wish I had asked out one guy, but normally I know the guys would’ve said no.
Very true plus men aren’t allowed to go for things like this so y’all got to make up the slack
Not for me (personally) because it never ends up well. That’s how you end up begging for attention and getting men with absolute lack of proactivity. I wish any of the men I made the first move on were everything I dreamt of but it ends up being the opposite. I am starring to think there is a reason why I had to beg for attention in the first place. I know there will be that one person downvoting, but I am talking from personal experience not from another woman’s perspective. I am glad it worked for you, but it has never ended well for me. I am not trying to offend anyone, I am just explaining a perspective on why it does not go well for me.
Someone somewhere created a bunch of rules that they tried to enforce on everyone because they believed that was correct. It might have been for them but it doesn’t mean it is for everyone. If people didn’t worry as much about some imaginary rules and just went with their heart and gut about what is right the world would be a better place
Just don’t tell the dude you’re crazy or « insert mental disorder » because smart men will fucking run. My dumbass is currently dealing with that. Girl tells me multiple times she’s crazy and I’m like nahhhh I’ve seen crazy. Nope nope no I have not. You’re good doing what OP says as long as you don’t drop hints of some mental issue.
making the first move didn’t work for meeeeeeeee ^-^
Ssssh don’t say that too loud, I said women should do that and was told it makes men seem timid and weak if a woman « has » to make the first move. Not sure why people always frame a woman making the first move as a negative.
If it’s done right, it is absolutely NOT easy or crazy. I’ll never forget a girl I was dating a few years ago. We went for a stroll along the river in NYC. She wanted to take some pics, and first pic we took she stood in front of me, wrapped my arms around her, and put my hands across her stomach and grabbed me so tight. The lady taking the photo said it looked like a maternity shoot. This was like our second date. OP, you are absolutely right. So many women have so many men pursuing them nowadays that I think the concept of what it means to make the “first move” has gotten distorted.
Every woman I’m sure wants to be asked on a date, texted, called, complemented etc. Where some women go wrong is they play TOO hard to get, and it just comes across as disinterested. Men love a woman to show us some affection, something we don’t get from the outside world.