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Dating : Would you lose interest in a someone if they were taking too long to text back, even if they were otherwise a good person?

Dating : Would you lose interest in a someone if they were taking too long to text back, even if they were otherwise a good person?


I matched with this guy on tinder back at the start of June. I was getting a lot of matches and found it difficult to reply to every message, until I realized I didn’t have to. I think I ended up responding to him almost a month later when he sent a follow up message, and his profile shot up to the top. I was planning on deleting the app because of the types of messages I was getting, and just realizing I probably wasn’t going to meet any of them. Anyway, I ended up giving him my number in a “what the hell kinda move” and deleted tinder.

I feel like I can tell that he’s a genuinely nice person, just based on the few conversations I’ve had with him and snooping around his IG. The problem is, this man takes anywhere from 8-18hrs to respond to a message. And because I don’t want to seem like I’m jumping at every opportunity to talk to him, I take just as long to reply. But this is petty and I don’t like these kinds of games. It sucks because I like him and want to see him but the fact he takes so long is turning me off.

We’re planning on meeting up next Friday. I should mention that he asked me out and has been very flexible with the days and time that don’t work for me, so he is clearly interested. Am I being crazy for second guessing him because of how long he takes to reply to a text?

What do you think?

7 Comments

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  1. You took a month to respond, and want him to instantly respond to you but you’re worried about responding too quickly. You don’t want to sound needy, ever think he may not want to either? Plus not everyone lives with their phone next to them, I purposely leave my phone on silent, if I miss a text or a call I’ll get back to you when I see it on my phone.

  2. Nobody is so busy they can’t text back in 18 hours. If someone is genuinely interested, they show it with their interest and wanting to communicate. So to answer your question, I lose interest now almost immediately if someone shows me that they aren’t all that excited to talk with me. That whole play hard to get thing or wait a day to text garbage makes me lose interest immediately. But that also came with maturity and learning to value my time and myself.

  3. No, I’d lose interest too. Have you ever liked someone so much you took 8 hours to respond? Me neither. Come correct or don’t come at all.

  4. One thing to remember is if you text him during work he might not be able to respond right away. I know at my work there is very limited cell reception, and we are not allowed phones outside the brake rooms. I always tell people to text me and I’ll get back when I can.

  5. For me. I do. I want to hold long conversation and getting to know the person that im interesting in. So if the girl took 8h or more to reply I will just get out lol

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