Dating : Actually good dating sites? (And advice!)
Hey Reddit, lonely guy here. I’ve been using tinder and POF for quite a while but I can never match with anyone that isn’t a bot or someone who wants me to pay for sex. Are there any actually good sites that I could use instead?
Also, I’d like to know what it is I’m doing wrong. Whenever I do end up talking to a real woman I’m always very considerate and reasonable, and when it comes to sex I genuinely am concerned about my partner’s pleasure, and am very open as to what I would do to please my partner. Yet…I can’t actually meet anyone in real life and they aren’t interested in me…? Why is that? What am I doing wrong?
Try /r4r
Okcupid
>What am I doing wrong?
You are doing plenty of things wrong; sorry to say. I am saying this from a place of compassion and not being negative or trying to put you down. So lets explore.
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>Hey Reddit, lonely guy here
Is this a desirable characteristic to be a lonely guy? Become the type of person someone would want to date. Develop good characteristics like confidence, positive energy, hobbies that you are passionate about, an interesting career, etc. Those are more desirable than being a lonely guy – trust me on this please.
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>Are there any actually good sites that I could use instead?
All those sites you mentioned are good. I know many people who have met, dated, fucked and married off of those sites, as I am sure you have. So the apps are not problematic as it works for so many people. For example, if you are a bad driver, buying a new car wont make you a good driver, rather you need to learn better driving skills. Catch my drift?
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>Also, I’d like to know what it is I’m doing wrong. Whenever I do end up talking to a real woman I’m always very considerate and reasonable
You pretty much answered your own question here. Of course its good to be a nice person who is classy, kind and has integrity, but sometimes *considerate and reasonable* can easily mean boring, meek and lacking confidence. Make sure you dont fall into that category. This doesnt mean you try to be a ‘bad boy’ (that is just stupid if its not your character), it means you show signs of greater self respect and individuality instead of only conforming to others wishes.
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>when it comes to sex I genuinely am concerned about my partner’s pleasure, and am very open as to what I would do to please my partner.
This falls into the category of people pleasing and approval seeking. Doing things for others (that you may not want to do) just for the sake of winning them over. Instead do things *equally* for yourself and others. If you put others above you, you are implying that you are ‘low status’ (again not a desirable trait). Women want someone who is equal or higher than them in social status, so why are you forcefully making yourself lower status, makes no sense at all unless you want to repel people away.
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>I can’t actually meet anyone in real life and they aren’t interested in me
They aren’t interested in you because you aren’t interesting – this should be obvious. Also, always trying to please others is *not* a virtue as its insincere. You need to learn to connect to others on a more genuine level.