Dating : Am I intimidating?
I’m 20F and I seem to always repel guys 🙁 I don’t think I’m particularly bad looking, just pretty average if I had to describe myself. Sometimes when I walk around campus with friends, they point out when a guy stares at me or checks me out but I never notice myself. I’m relatively introverted and closed off and when I walk around campus I always have my earphones in and avoid eye contact/smiling ;-; is this making me appear unapproachable or intimidating? And if so, how can I appear more approachable?
Walking around with headphones on is a clear sign that you don’t want to be bothered, so you should probably start with that lol
Approaching girls can be scary. Especially because there’s a lot of talk about how girls don’t want to be approached in various situations (which makes sense) and how wearing headphones usually means a girl doesn’t want to talk and is annoyed if approached then
You might have better luck if you approached guys yourself, since in addition to those things, it seems like many guys are just becoming shyer and less tied to the masculine ideas of guys always being the ones to initiate things
Just pick a guyyou like and tell him you like him and want to be with him. Don’t think too much.
You look like you’d be angry if someone approached you.
I wouldn’t say intimidating as much as closed off. It’s not a bad thing, I think introverted girls are cute, however as an introvert myself I wouldn’t want to interrupt them, so…it’s hard
Without knowing you and based off what little info we have in this post, it’s going to be hard to give you an answer with much substance but…
IME, no woman has ever intimidated me nor any other guy I know. They instead exhibit abrasive, self-absorbed, defensive, and/or stand-offish personalities that repel most guys around them. If a guy tells a girl she is intimidating, he’s likely just being polite.
He’s not thinking “she’s intimidating,” he’s thinking, “she’s going to be a LOT of work.”
Not saying this is reflective of you just to be clear. But I’m very skeptical anytime I hear the description of someone as “intimidating”
Maybe take a look in figurative mirror? I know I’ve had to many times in my life when I didn’t want to.
Practice makes perfect, if you feel like you’re not exhibiting a warm and friendly aura, then force yourself to do more social things with friends or strangers and set a goal of making a new friend/acquaintance at each event. Eventually you will be more comfortable with this and may have an easier time appearing approachable!
hope this helps and best of luck!
I think walking with a straight face, little eye contact and headphones on gives a giant sense if « do not disturb » to most people. Not just guys, but everyone. If you want someone to approach you, you need to appear more approachable by being approachable. Keep your headphones on but smile and make eye contact with guys you find attractive. That way it’ll be easier for others to make contact.
And to quote Michael Scott « maybe I need to be more approchabler. »
I think it might be partial to the #metoo thing where guys don’t want to be labeled a creep for wanting to chat and get to know you.
In my personal experience, I rarely talk to anyone in public (gym, grocery store, etc) because I myself am pretty private and don’t want to be disturbed so I usually assume most people are the same and don’t want to be bothered by someone like me. I’ll still glance at a woman if I think she’s cute but can never casually approach them because they’re probably going to be uncomfortable with the situation.
Smile and make conversation with a guy you like. Some are afraid to approach because a lot of women are pretty brutal. A lot of guys have it easier because they have « game ». That basically means they know the lies women believe and they are confident because they have been there and done that. That’s kind of the point though. They have been there and done that. If you are just looking for sex, these guys will cheat on their old ladies for you. If you actually want love, go for a guy who is a little shy and you think he is lying to you just for sex. He is actually telling you the truth. The guy who is lying to you is actually just looking for sex. You will believe him because he is lying. You won’t believe the guy who is telling you the truth because people lie so much that you don’t realize you believe lies and don’t believe truth. This is what the Bible is trying to make people understand. They killed Jesus because He was telling truth and they thought He was lying.