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Dating : Are women really put off by guys that are smaller/lighter than they are?

Dating : Are women really put off by guys that are smaller/lighter than they are?


By smaller I mean in width not in height. I, for whatever reason, like bigger women and have a hard time dating because of it. I’m 5’7 and weighed in the 120s when I was in my 20s, now the 130s now that I’ve gotten a bit older. I always thought I was bad at approaching, because when I was younger and approached thicker-BBW type women in the clubs, I’d get the cold shoulder. I’d often retreat to a table or a corner or something and more often than not some slim woman would start hitting one me.

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Now I’m doing the online dating thing, and it’s the same. I’ve only gotten one message answered from a thicker woman and she has an infant child- no thanks! Yet even though I have it written on my profile that I prefer thick to BBW type women, I must have 30 messages in my inbox from mostly very slim women. Some are just « hey » but about half sound like they read my profile and ignored my preference or something. Not one woman even my weight (you have to input height/weight on the site) has messaged me or returned my message except for the one with the baby. Do I need see a psychotherapist or hypnotist so I can be attracted to skinny women or should I give it more time?

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What do you think?

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  1. As an ex-big girl, i have to admit a lot of big girls don’t like feeling huge compared to the guy they are dating (this is based on discussions with my other big girl friends) BUT there are those out there that don’t care. In conclusion, are you on a swiping app? cause if you never swipe on a slim chick, she cant message you.

  2. Jesus christ id kill to have your problem. I’m your size as well and only obese girls will match or reply. I am fitness oriented and find obesity gross.

  3. Women generally prefer men that are taller and more built than they are.

    > Yet even though I have it written on my profile that I prefer thick to BBW type women

    Im gonna guess they likely view this as fetish thing and thus are turned off. Id take that out of your profile.

  4. In general, yes. Women want to feel like their man is bigger and stronger than they are. They don’t want to feel threatened by their man, but rather than want to feel that there is a possibility of physical threat AT ALL.

    I say you should give the smaller women a try. If you introduce yourself by saying you prefer « BBW » women, people are going to think you’re a weird feeder dude.

  5. I’m a larger woman and I’m not put off by guys smaller than me. If anything the guys I end up with are usually pretty slim.
    If I don’t know a guy’s preference I am initially worried about thin guys being put off by someone my size, but since you have it explicitly in your profile, I’d obviously be less concerned.
    Basically, there are plenty of bigger women into smaller guys.

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