Dating : Dating tips for someone with a Disorganized / Fearful-Avoidant attachment style? F27
Hi! I’m in my late 20s and I’ve never been on a first date, relationship or experienced intimacy other than asking one friend for an friends with benefits situation that felt clinical since we weren’t into each other.
I have a trauma I’ve worked through from my childhood and even from a few years ago. I also struggle with body dysmorphia. I’ve avoided dating and relationships because of my mental health, and how I look. I tried losing weight in the past and despite having success with it it did nothing for me mentally. I learned that I must work through my trauma and mental health first before fixing how I look.
This aside I do wish to be in a safe, secure relationship with a partner that accepts all of me and never gets tired of me. I’ve struggled through a lot but I think it would be incredible and grounding to have a partner who cares about me, and for me to have someone to care about in a special way.
My attachment style is Disorganized/ Fearful & Avoidant, the rarest but I know it’s the most difficult to work with. If you have any tips for me to overcome this and to pursue dating for the first time please let me know. I have learned that I am worthy of love and someone I can be vulnerable with and feel safe, I just want to be prepared for when I hop on those dating apps haha. Thank you for reading!
To be brutally honest, I feel like until you are over this, dating is not for you or the person you want to date. People sometimes successfully use dating to get over mental health issues. However, many are not that serious issues to begin with or they have just found the right person that can accept and work with their partners. I won’t say this would be impossible for you to face, but I feel like you can reach a certain level/milestone in your treatment before beginning something tough like dating. It can be very harsh if you meet the wrong person and that can ruin potentially wonderful relationships yet to come your way based on a terrible experience at the beginning when you are not ready. Wish you the best.