Dating : Does my coworker (23M) like me (22F) or is he just being friendly?
Hi guys, there is a guy that I have had a massive crush on since last year. We work at a supermarket. He’s super friendly towards me. However, he is really nice when speaking to everyone, so that is his general personality. We’re never flirty towards each other, just friendly and we often have casual conversations whenever were nearby. Even a few months ago he bought me a 3 pack of fabric face masks worth $20 (he said he had plenty of packets laying at home) and when I offered him the cash he wouldn’t take it. We once spoke about this particular brand of alcohol and as my birthday was upcoming, he said he was going to get one for me (however he didn’t end up getting it for me, for whatever reason). He sometimes texts me about work-related things, and I try to seem keen in my reply and don’t dry text him back, but he doesn’t usually keep the conversation going (with the very odd exception). Then, just today, I was next to him at one point behind the counter and one of the managers said to us « I think you two should date ». I was smiling and blushing of course, and his response to her was « you’re going to make me blush, she’s too pretty for me ». Then afterwards when she left, we had a short casual conversation but with no mention of what just happened. Would you guys say that’s a bad sign? Because I feel like if he was interested he would’ve used that as an excuse to ask me out, instead he doesn’t make reference to it. I’ve really liked him for so long and I don’t know how I will be able to get over him if he doesn’t feel the same way :(. Anyway, another scenario – for some time coming up, I’ll only see him once a week. Last week I said to him “I’ll see you next Wednesday” and he says “that’s so long”, I said “I know I’ll miss you” and he replies “same” in a semi-enthusiastic tone. However today when I left I said the same thing, “I’ll see you next Wednesday” and he says “that’s so long” but he didn’t say he’ll miss me. I think that’s a bad sign unless I’m overthinking it.
Thanks in advance!
do not shit where you eat, don’t mess up your bag
Ask him out. A bit of distance at work might actually be a blessing in disguise.
I say you have a pretty fair chance that he likes you. I wouldn’t be caught dead calling my coworkers “pretty” or saying “I’ll miss you”. Even the coworker I had a huge crush on, I avoided sending signals because it’s a workplace.
I had a crush on my coworker. I did my absolute best to keep it platonic. She was really hard to read. However a few signs slipped through the cracks. What helped is we hung out outside of work sometimes. However, I treated her as a friend. Ultimately, she was relentless in the end, sending me signals. Ultimately, i asked out her out when I was certain that she liked it. As it turned out, she liked me too.
Honestly, it seems like you guys have a good chemistry. I would just make your move. Or, make it super mega ultra obvious. If that doesn’t work, then make your move. If he shoots you down, no problem and continue being his friend as things were.
I mean from what it sounds like he might have some type of feeling towards you but is afraid to show it because he wouldn’t want to jeopardize your friendship together if the feelings aren’t mutual so basically he’s just scared of rejection and that’s normal because I deal with that and am currently dealing with that with a women but I might be overthinking things. You could either ask him to hang out and see what response you get from him and then either make your move on him or try to position yourself to get him to reveal how he feels about you. Honestly public work places is the worst place to expect someone to ask you out or for him to tell you he likes you. Even I wouldn’t do that just because of how public and not private it is. The less people around the easier it should be
If you manager said you two should date, she is picking up something. He probably does like you, a pretty good chance in fact. There are a few things at play though.
1. Don’t shit where you eat is drubbed into every guy in the work place. We hear it from parents, friends, coworkers, sexual harassment training videos.
2. He doesn’t want to put a friendship at risk.
3. He doesn’t think you like him that way. He is showing signs of some interest, if you haven’t shown any back he knows he is dead in the water. « We’re never flirty towards each other, » Yup, dead in the water. He is not going to initiate flirting at work, its a sure fire way of getting fired in addition to being creepy if you are not interested. Being a creep and ending up unemployed is not fun.
4. « you’re going to make me blush, she’s too pretty for me » then going back to talking like it didn’t happen. That says it all. He believes he is not in your league and that you are NOT interested.
If you want him you are going to have step up some flirt game.