Dating : FWB
I met this guy recently on tinder. He is a bit younger than me. I asked him what he was looking for and he said potential friends with benefits but he is open to more. I told him I was looking for something serious. I continued to chat to him just to flirt and maybe hookup. I met him on the weekend. We didn’t go on a date and he came to my place and we had amazing sex he then stayed over and cuddled with me all night.
The next day he said he hopes to see me again and then messaged me saying he had a great time. Today he messaged me goodmorning beautiful. I did not reply. I do not want to put effort into someone who is not going to commit to me. I also dont want to let him have all my attention without a label but I am conflicted because I do like him.
Do I not see him again because I will just get attached and hurt or is there another way I can deal with this situation?
TIA
Everyone here has got it completely wrong
He straight up tells her he just wants something casual. Yeah, he said « Open to more », but that’s just something a lot of guys will say so the girl doesn’t think he’s just using her
> I continued to chat to him just to flirt and maybe hookup
So even though she wants something serious, she decides this is the best thing to do, but is now acting shitty because she doesn’t « want to put effort into someone who is not going to commit »
Straight up: that convo should have ended when it became clear you wanted different things. You don’t tell a guy you want something serious and then invite him over and sleep with him because you’re lonely. You don’t then start ghosting because you made a mistake and want to take it out on him
He told you what he wants. You slept with him anyways. Of course he wants to see you again, he wants to sleep with you again
I generally don’t like blaming people for their actions, but you legit dropped the ball here. You can deal with this situation by apologizing to him, cutting it off, and moving on
You had sex and he texted you the next morning, seems like he’s still interested.
Keep him, he is committed but not the way you want. It’s not as if he’ll be seeing other girls. He’s only gonna see you and it looks to me that if you continue with him he might catch feelings and is gonna want to stay. It’s not often you see a FWB texting you right after, or saying « good morning beautiful. » He’s interested and you should at least see where you and him will go.
You two have different agendas. You shouldn’t « like » your FWBs – fwbs are people you see no possible relationship with and have zero attachment to. They’re people you enjoy spending time with, having sex with, but can drop in an instant because eventually this will happen. Don’t see him again. If you do, make sure it’s much later when you’re completely uninterested in an LTR with him. If you can’t do this, move on. You’ll save yourself a lot of suffering.
>I asked him what he was looking for and he said potential friends with benefits but he is open to more
He said he’s open to more.
You could always just date him while looking for someone else who’s ready to commit (if this guy doesn’t want to). Then you get the best of both worlds.
You’ve met up once and had sex but dont wanna keep talking to him because you’re not sure he wants anything more yet said hes open to the idea? And girls wonder why us guys are confused?