Dating : got dumped in a parking lot
before i start this off, i gotta say, it’s awfully hilarious how i posted on this sub about different phases of this ‘relationship’, this being the last one (thank god?)
i (22f) started seeing a friend (22m) of a friend back in the spring because our friends tried to match us up (we’d met previously). our first date was really nice and we hit it off right away. we live a couple of hours apart but we’d go and see each other.
it soon started to fall apart. he went on a trip with some friends and apparently they argued a lot. one of them was a girl i think he was in love with at some point and who betrayed him or whatever.
after that trip he started acting hot and cold. there were times when he had great conversations and times when he’d ignore my texts and pretend he only forgot. i could tell he didn’t care much about me, but as the clingy person i am, i stayed and didn’t say anything about what pissed me off.
when we met in person it was all good. we cuddled and hugged a lot and he was sweet. he also popped my cherry, or whatever you want to call it, which is a .. ‘fun’ memory to have now. between those times i could still tell he didn’t care as much about me. he has a fulltime job, unlike me, and would reply to texts late, so i rarely texted. we barely talked – we’d exchange 4-5 lines per day, at MOST. some days it was just a meme i sent him and that was all our interaction.
looking back, it’s blatantly obvious that he wasn’t that into me. what’s upsetting me is his lack of communication, not just in general, but of that fact in itself. did it take him this long to realize he’s not into me? even i could tell. he started acting like that at least 2 months before we broke it off, so why only do it now? why not do it then and put me out of my misery early?
we hadn’t seen each other in 2 months. i was busy for a full month and then he kinda… ditched me. for those few weeks (after my busy month) i felt him becoming more and more of an asshole. he later told me it was intentional. however. a few days after i got pissed and refused to talk to him (on top of having a depressive episode and being very stressed with my BA thesis), he messaged me with a meme. why? just why?
i started feeling better and i continued texting him (spare me the ‘you’re such a fool’, i’ve said it to myself plenty) and we had a couple of really nice conversations. he revealed he was being ‘caring’ (now? only now??) and waiting for my exams and BA thesis stuff to pass. we had some really nice conversations those days. he was being supportive and showing care. i thought everything was fine with us. we had planned to meet this weekend. i started to really look forward to it and planned a romantic date to celebrate how my uni stuff went. i specifically told him i wanted to celebrate and he didn’t give any hints of what would follow.
fast forward to yesterday. he was coming over to where i live, with another friend. upon arriving, he asked me to meet, which i found, as i know him, very unusual. i thought he was horny and couldn’t wait to see me, so i got kinda excited and was looking forward to meeting him. i wondered where we’d go.
i told him to come to a mall’s parking lot bc he was coming by car. he arrived, parked, and asked me to go in. i didn’t know what was coming. i put my bag in the backseat and wanted to chat and decide where we’d go. i made some jokes about my BA thesis and he joked along. he then told me he wanted to have ‘the talk’ (which i had proposed weeks before) right away. i had 2 conflicting thoughts: ‘does he want to make it official right away??’ and ‘uh-oh…’.
you can probably guess which thought became reality.
he told me he wanted to end things right away. he didn’t feel much of an attraction, even though he tried. he thinks we’re too different. it was a fun, new experience, though, he said. ‘should i take you home now?’
he asked for my opinion as well, but i knew it wasn’t worth fighting for it. it seemed he’d made up his mind. i told him i wanted to try but it wasn’t worth it if he didn’t feel the same. we spent the next 20 minutes, on the way to my place, in awkward silence.
and here we are.
tl;dr guy i dated for a few months became hot and cold and dumped me, in a parking lot, when he wasn’t in his cold phase. i’m still in shock.