Dating : How to talk about sexual inexperience
I’m a woman in my early 30s who has never had sex. I took a few years out of the dating scene altogether but I’m thinking about trying again. I need some advice because the older I get, the more this feels like An Issue.
It’s not for religious or moral reasons – I’ve just never got to a point in a relationship where I wanted to have sex. I’ve dated some lovely guys who I found very attractive but the comfort level for sex wasn’t there yet. Had some fun hookups but always stopped at “heavy petting”.
I never know when or how to bring it up. I have a friend who was in a similar situation until meeting her now-husband. She’s opted to never tell him that he’s the only man she’s slept with. I’m too – open? non-secretive? – to go that route.
I’ve dated men who were put off once they learned. I’ve never had to deal with anyone fetishizing it, but I’m sure those men are out there (though perhaps not in a woman my age). I want to present it as a neutral fact, not a positive or negative.
Would sexual inexperience in a thirty-something woman put you off? How could I best approach the conversation? How far into a dating relationship should it be disclosed?