Dating : I got turned down tonight

Dating : I got turned down tonight

I had a really chill day today. Stopped at work for a few hours of easy OT just to check on some deadlines. Was productive. Went home and smoked/napped.

Went to the mall down the street to browse shoe deals. Ended up buying some shirts from cotton on. The manager was super cute and we even had a laugh at check out.

Left the store, went downstairs and sat on the coin massage chairs trying to build up the courage to ask her out.

Walked back up to the store and asked her if she could help me out with something (kind of hinted toward another part of the store because there were customers/coworkers). Anyways she didn’t budge positions and asked me what I needed. I smiled and simply asked her if she was free tonight. She smiled, laughed and said “tonight?? Uhh, I’m not I’m sorry” while blushing.

I just smiled back, said ok and left. She was super cute. I haven’t asked a girl out like that in YEARS but I feel it was the right way to do it. Made it easy for her to say no and just walk away. Felt real nice. Still does.

Everyone’s happy.

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What do you think?

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  1. Getting blown off by store staff is brutal because here’s the thing – they have to be polite to you. When you’re not used to random women being friendly or nice to you, it makes it easy to interpret that as interest when it’s not. I’ve fallen in this trap and had embarrassing rejections from it. Sucks.

    Good for you if you came out of this with a positive attitude.

  2. lol you should have waited for her to get off work and followed her to her car before asking.

    KIDDING, lol.

    So I’m not a fan of asking people at while they’re at work. I’ve passed up several flirts because of that, it’s just one of my « rules ». Were I to break it, I’d ask on the spot if the vibe was good. It would have to be *really* good though – like practically eye f***ing me.

    That said, always go for it in the moment if you feel that it’s right. Not saying you couldn’t have came back, but it wasn’t that boss.

    Also, « free tonight »? No man. Say something like « Hey, I <reason you’d like to see her outside of work>. If you like <fun date ideas> give me your number and maybe we can set something up ». This A) shows confidence, B) shows you know what you’re doing, and C) leaves it up in the air so she can think about you until a time that she’s free. If you’re really getting along & mutually attracted, it’s a nice win-win.

    Plus ask out more girls man! Even if you don’t go on a date or get rejected, it’s great practice. Good on you for going for it though – a lot of guys wouldn’t even do that

  3. Honestly, you did exactly what you are supposed to do in this situation. Most men wouldn’t even have the courage to do something like that and approach a woman. This should be a massive boost to your confidence! Keep doing what you are doing and the right girl will eventually come your way!

  4. Man, when I moved to the UK (years ago) I thought every woman is flirting with me. They were all smiling and doing sweet talking.

    Sadly, after some time I realized that this is the English way of being, overly polite towards strangers.

    My confidence has been knocked off a bit

  5. To the guys saying that he should’ve asked her number or whatever else : what you say exactly is not important, as long as it properly conveys the message which is « I want to see you outside of work because I find you attractive ». « Are you free tonight? » perfectly conveys that. If the girl sincerely wasn’t free tonight but still found it nice that he asked, she will suggest another day. If she doesn’t, she’s either extremely shy or not interested. Most likely the latter.

  6. Not a bad way to get experience, but this won’t yield the best results. I recommend getting a number or some form of contact info next time you ask a girl so you can setup a proper date. It’s totally plausible she was interested but wasn’t available that night for her own reasons. Also remember she barely knows who you are, is at work, and didn’t have plans prior. It’s rare anyone will just drop whatever they had plans for for a stranger they might like

  7. Ditch the service girls, approach at bars and clubs, you’ll have a lot easier time knowing if they’re actually interested or just being friendly. Glad you have the ability to keep your cool during rejection, cause it’s going to happen a LOT.

  8. It’s kind of a bad look to hit on ppl at their job since they are a captive audience and must be nice.

    Swap social media and transition from there.

  9. I can’t usually tell with people at the workplace because you don’t know if they like you or are just being polite for the paycheck.

    I don’t have the balls to ask girls out like that although I think I’m fit and good looking I always assume they aren’t into me.

  10. U got the right idea, but dont.ask women out while they are at work. Especially in retail. They are told not to fraternize with customers

  11. She was probably not available that evening. Next time maybe slip her your phone number and tell her you would like to get her drinks sometime. Write your name on the slip though.

  12. This is so sweet. Please keep approaching women IRL. Just be kind, smile, don’t objectify her, and back off kindly if she says no. Nice move OP, she was probably really flattered!

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