Dating : I have matched with a hot guy that wants to meet up but my photos are taken from good angles and I’m actually really ugly. What to do?
Reddit you really need to help me out because I’m freaking out.
I have matched with a good looking guy on tinder. He is a 7-8. A top tier. I’m on the other hand a 3, maybe a 4 at my best. I’m thin but my face is not attractive at all.
All my photos on tinder and snapchat are taken from good angles that minimize how ugly I am. I don’t use filter or anything, but I also take photos that will maximize my looks. This means photos taken from the side instead of straight above.
If I take a « normal » photo of myself I legit look like shit. Like really really unattractive. I look like a troll that hasn’t slept for days. Photos and selfies give me anxiety because of how ugly I am.
Idk what to do. Should I call of meeting up with this fella? I don’t want him to get disappointed or tell me I look like shit. My biggest fear is to get it confirmed from a stranger that I’m ugly.
What do I do, I’m freaking out. This has always been a problem for me with dating because I’m just so ugly I don’t wanna meet up.
Tldr: a hot guy wants to meet me but he isn’t aware of how ugly I am
Plenty of people look like shit in pictures and are hot in real life. You’re probably being too hard on yourself. Look at it this way:
If you ignore him or blow him off, there’s a 0% chance that you’ll ever get to get with him.
If you meet up with him, he might like you. Just go and find out!
I’ve met a few girls like that through OLD. You’re just delaying the inevitably awkward. Be honest with both other people and yourself. Someone will find you attractive.
Ive been in the guys situation, it sucks for everyone. I stayed and even payed for the meal but i told her when i dropped her off i dont think we are compatible and she understood, taking flattering pictures is ok but if its a large diffrence it makes me feel swindled and its hard to even want to get to know their personality as theyve already started off on the wrong foot.
You should never post photos like that, it’s unfair to the person. I 100% understand being self conscious, and feeling the need to, but it just isn’t worth it in the end (as you can see from the situation you’re in now). You never know, this person might not care, or they might. The only thing you can do now is either go on the date and risk him being (I think justifiably) lied to, or you can back out of the date and create a more honest profile for future dates, or you can send him an actual selfie. I mean he’s going to see you eventually, you can’t obscure reality.
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I think most times people are much too hard on themselves about their looks, and I bet you are being hard on yourself. You want to find someone that likes you for you, not the way you look. Looks fade, and even if you can attract someone with looks it’s unlikely you’ll keep their attention with only that. You should be more confident in yourself before going on dates.
« I legit look like shit » lmfao, if he’s gonna be an asshole then dont sweat it, he’s missing out.
He could be one of them mfs that like u for ur personality but u never know til u see the dude, dont worry bout it and be confident.
TBH how do you know all his photos aren’t flattering? I cannot tell you how many disappointing dates I’ve been on with men who took super flattering photos. One guy I almost walked past because he looked so different. Just go and be confident. And drive separate so you both can make a hasty retreat if either of you are disappointed.
Everyone only posts their most flattering pictures, you’re not deceiving anyone by knowing your angles. You said it yourself, you don’t filter or edit your pictures, so if you took a good one thats all you babe. Thats more than a lot of people on instagram can say about their own photos.
That being said, you need some self-confidence to match your great profile. I doubt many people are put off by your looks. Something that really helped me was taking a lot of time to get ready for the date and always doing something special to make me feel my best, like going to get my hair done when I could afford it or painting my nails and doing a face mask when I was on a budget.
> All my photos on tinder and snapchat are taken from good angles that minimize how ugly I am. I don’t use filter or anything, but I also take photos that will maximize my looks. This means photos taken from the side instead of straight above.
Everyone does that.
> If I take a « normal » photo of myself I legit look like shit. Like really really unattractive. I look like a troll that hasn’t slept for days. Photos and selfies give me anxiety because of how ugly I am.
You should see a therapist.
> Should I call of meeting up with this fella?
Only meet up with him if you can stop beating yourself up. Low self esteem and dating don’t mix.
I matched with a girl who looked pretty decent in photos…they were just far away shots. When we met in person, her face was scarred badly from acne.
I stayed and treated her like a human being. She ended up ghosting me after anyway lol
You need to change your pics to how you really look. Why are you even song this if not? They will see you the moment they meet you for real. This makes no sense to me and is so weird. But people do it so it is definitely a thing.
First of all, everyone has their best photos on apps. A lot of people have pics of themselves from 10 years ago. It’s just the reality of it.
But also, the fact you’re concerned about how he will feel (despite that you’re probably beautiful and being hard on yourself) shows you are a good person and would make a great girlfriend—if he’s a good guy too then he deserves that. The best thing you can offer in a relationship is love and care, clearly you do that. Don’t sell yourself short.
LOL, he might of done the same thing (or maybe he used filters or photoshop).
Anyhow, that is not for you to decide, that is for him to decide (if he feels chemistry with you).
also, you can go on the rateme sub and post the OLD pics you used and post are normal selfie and we can give you feedback on how different they are.
Can you win him over with your sparkling personality??
Go on the date, enjoy yourself but steel yourself for not getting a second date. You should only post photos that are representative of what you look like. You might think you’re ugly but there could be a guy out there that is totally into your look. You probably don’t look nearly as bad as you think. If he’s really that hot he might still reject you, but even though dating guys can be a total shitshow, they’re still generally polite enough to not call you fugly to your face on a first date. Don’t expect to show up and have him insult you, its pretty unlikely especially if he’s been polite to you so far.
Don’t worry about it. If he enjoys your company looks are fairly irrelevant
Honestly, it’s probably not as bad as you think. Everyone takes pictures from their good angles and I’m pretty sure no amount of flattering angles is going to take a 4 to an 8, you would need some heavy editing for that. So more than likely, he just actually thinks you’re cute. Don’t psych yourself out.
As long as the back of your head isn’t too off-putting I’m sure you will be fine
Some people don’t take good pictures. I look a lot better in person than I do in pictures. Maybe you’re the same and he’ll be pleased when he meets you. And maybe there’s some unique quality of your face that he’s attracted to. There are guys out there that aren’t even really attracted to conventionally attractive women, but rather to ones with a distinguishing look. Who knows. Go with the flow here.
Can you FaceTime or add him on Snapchat? Then there shouldn’t be any surprises. That being said, I’m sure you’re being too harsh on yourself.
I’d send him a real picture that shows what you actually look like and see what he has to say. Quite honestly, seeing that someone looks different from their photos is a turn off because it’s almost like being lied to… and now you’re stuck paying for a liar’s dinner, sitting with a liar all night, and then figuring out how to tell a liar to fuck off without being as much of an asshole as they were for lying to you.
I’d be way more willing to go on a first date with a girl that was honest that she uses flattering angles to compensate for her lack of super model looks than I would be to go on a second date with someone that misled me like that.
Most Guys in the End don’t really care what the Majority of Women Look Like..If you Catch My Drift