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Dating : I want to stop being in love with a girl. How do I do it?

Dating : I want to stop being in love with a girl. How do I do it?


I met her a few months ago and I quickly realized she was everything I could’ve asked for. We play the same games, watch the same shows, we even have the same style of humour. The problem is that she already has a boyfriend. I’ve met him before, I’m good friends with him and he’s honestly one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I know for a fact that he is a better boyfriend to her that I could ever be and I know it’s impossible for them to break up. They both consider me a great friend and I want it to stay that way, but I can’t stop thinking about her. I really don’t want to love her and yet I’m almost certain I will never ever find someone like her again in my life. I don’t know what to do.

What do you think?

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  1. Realize that timing and luck are as important to relationships as your personalities and compatibility. Maybe in another life you could have had a relationship with her, but in this life, that isn’t happening. So be a friend if you can stomach it. Your feelings may dissipate over time. Find other people to date. You may find someone else who’s an even better fit for you.

    If being around her is too upsetting, you may need to back away from the friendship.

  2. > They both consider me a great friend and I want it to stay that way

    I’m not sure what kind of friendship it is, but you basically need to just not hang around them and not expose yourself to their relationship. Don’t think you can have it both ways.

    Anyhow, that’s life. It’s normal. Sometimes the « perfect girl » we want is already taken. Trust me, she’s not the only « perfect girl » and she’s probably not even that great anyway, your brain is just fucked up because of impotent lust.

    The other thing you have to do is drive around late at night while listening to loud heavy metal music. Do this a couple times per week. It works. Feel the feels. Let your brain process your feelings with the perfect solitude of a nighttime drive.

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