Dating : Is anyone else having an extremely tough time in the dating world right now?
I’m no stranger to online dating. I’m 28 and have met well over 20 people in the last 10 years from apps. I don’t know if it’s just me getting older, or something in the water, but dating feels extremely tough right now. People are so jaded, nobody is honest and nobody wants the real thing.. has anyone else felt this lately?
I just see minimal effort. Every single initial message I’ve gotten has been one short sentence like hi how are you. And when I try to spark conversation I still get very short responses. I know I’m not great at it, but at least I try.
I am too. I’m the same age and have been on and off dating apps over the years. It seems like people are far more flaky than they used to be, or maybe that more people flake now? It’s exhausting, I get all excited about someone and then they just evaporate at the last second.
Felt that way since last year. Just focus on yourself in every aspect and someone will come along. Your only 28, no need to rush.
At least you’ve met people on these dating apps. I’m still struggling just to get likes and matches.
It’s rough out there. I just keep getting sexually harassed on dating apps. It’s feeling impossible to meet anyone of substance or who wants to play it safe rn and not sleep around with a bunch of people. People are behaving extremely counterintuitively and seem to have riskier behavior than ever. I’ve found they’re brutally honest though, which I appreciate, but it is also giving me an existential crisis. I’m also much, much older than you so I’m feeling especially hopeless.
I dislike dating apps. I went on one last night after YEARS of hiatus. Was groped relentlessly and he kept trying to force kisses on me.
Never again.
Me! Also I have herpes and a lot of people are pretty shitty about how they treat you when they find out.
« People are so jaded, *nobody* is honest and *nobody* wants the real thing… »
Some might say that sounds like a jaded or cynical statement. (Right now is not forever.)
On some level you must suspect there are people who are finding love while dating.
In the U.S. over 2.3 million weddings take place each year after meeting, dating, and maybe living together.
There are some people who want to *put the end at the beginning* which keeps them from enjoying the process. Almost everyone eventually gets married at least once or enters into a serious relationship. Before I got married I had several girlfriends, booty calls/hookups, and had lived with a few women. Never did I have a *mission* to find a girlfriend or wife.
The goal should be to *meet new people* and *have fun*. The rest of what happens is a matter of how compatible you are and whether things *evolve into something serious* or not over time.
Actor George Clooney (famous serial monogamist) swore he would *never* get married again.
After only *six months of dating* Amal Alamuddin he proposed. They’re married with twins.
I would be leery of anyone who said *they are ready to get married* and didn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Your feelings about that « special person » *you’re already with* should be the reason why you’re suddenly thinking about marriage.
(Otherwise you’re just someone chasing after a marital status in need of a *prop*!)
It’s unrealistic to expect people to know they want a « serious relationship » *with you* without having spent some time getting to know you. Each of us has our own mate selection screening process and « must haves list » for choosing a mate.
Generally there is a first date, second date, a casual dating period (which may include seeing multiple people) until a person narrows it down to someone they want an exclusive relationship with. This is especially true if you’re meeting people on dating apps.
It should go without saying that if you meet someone who *maintains an active online dating profile*, odds are *they are keeping their options open* and so should you!
People who behave as if they are in an « exclusive relationship » when one does *not* exist are the ones who are hurt the most if things don’t work out, if they get rejected, or *ghosted*.
If you want something different you have to do something different.
By making *meeting new people and having fun the goal* you can take the pressure off yourself for finding a mate or love and allow it to happen organically when you click with someone.
Online dating apps aren’t the only way to meet new people!
In order to meet the type of people you want to meet *you have to run in their same circles*.
If you want to learn how to swim eventually you have to get in the water!
Consider joining a few hobby/interest groups on your local Meetup site.
Go out with single friends to places where other singles go to socialize in your area.
If your company sponsors after work activities like softball, bowling, or whatever consider either joining or attending. Some departments go out for cocktails after the close of a quarter.
Say « yes » more often to invitations to attend parties, gatherings, and hanging out.
*** »The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. »*** – W.M. Lewis
*** »Dating is primarily a numbers game…. People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is. »*** – Henry Cloud
Best wishes!
That’s 20 more people than. I met, and I’m 30.