Dating : Is being 100% open and honest when starting dating a bad thing?

Dating : Is being 100% open and honest when starting dating a bad thing?

I know with 100% certainty there is a woman who wants me. As best as I can understand, she would ideally be looking for something long term. I 100% do not want her long term, but I am desperately lonely. There is also another woman I 100% do want, but she is currently dating someone else, and even when she was single, she wasn’t interested in me at all. The situation with woman 2 is massively frustrating for both of us, and we both are miserable by it (part of the reason I’m debating going for the first one).


I’m not opposed to telling the woman who wants me that I know it wouldn’t work out, and that we would only be dating or in a relationship until we each find someone else. That way, she wouldn’t get all upset 8 months later and post a bunch of stuff about how men are trash, she wasted her time, etc. My best friend though tells me that’s a bad idea, and that’s something that I should just keep a secret if I do pursue her.

What do you think?


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  1. Why don’t you just fuck and keep it at that? Don’t bring up any relationship talk and don’t take her on dates. Eventually it will fizzle and it was fun for the time you had together.

    A lot of women like this. Especially single moms who barely have a sitter. You take them for a few drinks and shoot some pool and she gets what she wants and so do you. Never have to hear about kids or her past.

  2. Be honest and open with her. The question what you’re looking for will come up eventually. You can answer honestly, and then see if both of you want to keep going. Sometimes women are way more okay with it then you might think. Communication is key, whether it is a long-term thing or more like FWB/short-term.

    A word of caution though: only going for someone because you feel lonely can make you even feel more lonely in the end.

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