Dating : Is it normal for Westerners to date another people while dating someone?
Like this; you went a date with someone on monday and on tuesday with another person? Is this normal?
in Dating
Like this; you went a date with someone on monday and on tuesday with another person? Is this normal?
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Depends on where in the West and on the person. I’ve met people who by default assumed dating is exclusive after 2 or 3 dates, and I’ve met people who essentially had multiple girlfriends at the same time for months because they weren’t exclusive yet.
From what I read here, it appears that in the US dating multiple people at the same time is the norm. Where I’m from you would usually break things off if you found out the other person was still dating someone else as well.
It’s more related to the person’s personality.
Some people can date several people at once and others cannot.
However in American culture and some of other Western culture , there is the concept of, if you’re not committed and exclusive with that person then you are available to date other people .
This is something that both the men and the women can do, and many people you are able to get dates easily, will take advantage of it.
For some it is. For others it’s not. If I start dating someone, I don’t date others. If we make it to date two and agree to keep going, then I generally stop dating other people. I feel like if someone dates multiple people for months, the effort isn’t as focused and you could lose out on someone really great.
So yes, some people in the West date others, and some don’t.
This weirded me out too, but yes it’s unfortunately quite normal. I sometimes can’t shake the feeling that everything’s starting on the wrong foot.
Yes, very normal.
Yes, but it depends on the person as well. I usually stop seeing other people around date three, but I know people that continue dating others for months or that only date one person at a time.
Unless discussed, I do not expect or need exclusivity.
Dating is not same as committed relationship. You get there from dating if you like that person enough that you want to be in a exclusive relationship.
Not really West, just America. I am European, I have lived in a few different countries in Europe during my studies, and usually we only date one person at the time, and after a few dates it is assumed that we are in a relationship. When I heard about dating multiple people in America I was shocked because we would consider that cheating. I also dont understand the whole « what are we » talk because in my mind if you are dating someone, this means you are commited to them and in a relationship.
Going on dates and hooking up is not really the same as dating someone long-term. People do that all the time and it’s normal in western countries.
There are also people in open relationships who date multiple people at the same time.
I don’t think it is normal. If I’m dating someone that is because I’m romantically interested in them, which is an exclusive feeling. I think it is rather weird to have that towards multiple people or date without that feeling. For me it falls in the same category as polyamory, something I just can’t envision to match my considerations. I would be hesitant to go forwards with anyone who does that.
Yup. Totally.
100%
I don’t know what normal really looks like but it’s common enough that if it’s something you want to avoid then you have to ask about it early on.
It depends a lot on the person. I, for instance, could be considered “western”. In the absence of any other agreement, I would have no problem dating two or more people at the same time. I normally don’t have sex outside of an exclusive relationship, so I wouldn’t be having sex with any of these guys.
However, in the absence of any talk about commitment / exclusivity, I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the guys I’m dating is having sex with someone else. In fact I usually assume they are until I have any indication of the contrary.
Why not? I wouldn’t tell the other person about it, but you never know who likes you so you need to maximize the chances before you are exclusive to each other.
Yes it’s normal to date multiple people here in the west. This doesn’t mean they are sleeping with them, but more like trying different ice creams until they find their favorite flavor
I’ve gone on multiple first dates in the same week. I think it’s normal to date different people before exclusivity is established. If I’m seeing someone multiple times, though, I tend to stick to dating them since it just seems like a lot of energy to date other people if I’m already interested in one.
I am European and I came to the US at age of 18 so I have a clear view of both sides. In Europe it’s more of dating one person at a time, and you don’t really have a “talk”.. it’s more flawless, like you know you are exclusive/in a relationship after like you have gone on couple dates… also in Europe you usually meet people thru friends or social events, so you usually know ahead if person is seeing someone else or what the person is like.
In the US instead is different, like at the beginning of dating stage you need to assume you are not exclusive and should be ok with other person sees someone else as well ( this depends on each individual IMO).It’s more like of a set of rules which I personally don’t like. Like if I go on like 6-7 dates with you it’s easy to assume I like you and I want a relationship with you. But there are people that date multiple people for months till someone has the “talk.”
This happened to me. I recently dated a girl for two months here in the US went on 7~ dates so I thought she really wanted me, but in reality she was seeing also someone else, and it didn’t work out ( for other reasons ).
Also I think with online dating apps, people have more options so they keep dating around, and keep options open.
My recommendation is do what you feel like to do the most. Personally I don’t have problem seeing multiple people if I am at the beginning like ( only on couple dates with each date), but once I see someone for like 5 dates I tend to focus only on that one ( I mean by then you know if you like someone or not).
Yes it’s normal because you’re weighing out your options. You’re trying to see if you like person A more than you like person B. And, if person C just asked you out and if they’re nice and you like them as well then you can certainly go out with them too. You don’t have to tell any of them that you’re dating other people at the same time, unless they ask you directly. Then be honest about it since they’re probably doing the same thing too. If they’re not, then they’ll just get the impression that you have more options than they do.
At some point though you will have to decide which one you want to pursue a relationship with. If that’s what you want. Hopefully the one you choose will also want to pursue a relationship with you, then you can cut off the other guys. However, if casual dating is all you want then you can certainly just keep casually dating all of them at once.
In regards to sex, it depends on what type of “relationship” you have with each person. Some people who are just dating, who are in the getting to know each other phase, will have sex with each other even if they’re not exclusive. So, a person can go out with you today and go out with person B tomorrow and have sex with them if that’s where they are in their dating “relationship.” If you’re not exclusive you can’t really be bothered by it since the person isn’t actually your bf/gf. They’re just weighing out their options too. You’re able to do the same – FYI. Just be safe! Always!! And, if you don’t want to have sex while you’re getting to know them and prefer to wait until you’re exclusive that’s great too. Make sure this is something that they understand and respect.
If it does bother you though, this would be the best time to bring up that you’d like something exclusive with them. That way they can decide on wether to become exclusive with you or not.
The whole point of dating is to find the right fit. So no one has any obligations at that point. You have the right to choose who you want to spend time with, and if they don’t have certain qualities you’re looking for or it’s just not the right fit then you have the option to see if someone else does. Just as they do.
I wouldn’t call it normal but it happens a lot. You should tell the person you want to be exclusive. If they don’t then kick em to the curb
Yes, unless you have agreed to exclusivity/defined the relationship. There are going to be a lot of comments from gross incels but this is very normal.
Dating does not imply that you are exclusive, to me. If you don’t put a title on it. I’m assuming you are talking to whomever you like. But I’m not the jealous type. I personally would be wary of a girl that wanted my loyalty right away. She has to earn mine just like I need to earn hers.
Unfortunatly.
Yes it’s called cheating its more common for women to do but you will see guys do it to
Yeah, dating is fucked up in america. Half these women got nasties
yes.
Yes…. But as long as the other people know if you continue to see more than one person at once!
Yes
Personally I may go on multiple dates with people at the same time. I do not have sex with multiple people. This is respect for my partners and respect for myself.
If I am sleeping with somebody I make it clear to them that I am not sleeping with anybody else and I expect the same from them. If they want to sleep with me in addition to other people (which I would consider a risk for my own sexual health,) than I don’t sleep with them. I also don’t sleep with people very quick as I need to get more trust and feelings, so usually by that point I’m definitely not seeing anybody else and they aren’t either. If I’m hitting it off with somebody I invest my time and energy in them and not in dating others.
Again my personal opinion. If you want to sleep with and date multiple people at once that’s up to you, but I think you do owe it to your partners to explain that you are not sexually monogamous as many people may assume you are (you’ve been dating for a little bit and they just assume because they are not dating/sleeping with anybody else you also are not,) and that can put them at risk for STIs.
Not my thing, but yes, it’s common.
Yes, but typically people stop seeing others when it gets more serious.
Early stages, yes.
Sex… for some people.
That’s why you should have the « exclusive relationship » talk around IMO date 5-6 and before sex.
My personal timeline, others are faster or slower.
Impossible question as ‘Westerners’ is inclusive of a very, very wide variety of people.
There was a great post on r/datingoverthirty that really helped me understand the benefits of dating multiple people. I’m not from the West, but I might adopt that strategy. I know in my home country, people tend to focus on one person at a time.
Date a Filipino and you wouldnt be asking that anymore.
Why are you asking? Do you live in a very conservative / religious country where casual dating / sex is not permitted?
Dating, yes. Relationships, no. It’s not until it’s officially exclusive where both people know it’s a relationship and that’s when the multiple partners for dating stops. I’m in the US South Atlantic.