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Dating : Is it okay to date if I’m broke?

Dating : Is it okay to date if I’m broke?


Just a question, I’ve been putting off dating for a while because I wanted to have my own place at least and maybe a car. Unfortunately it’s taking longer than expected. I live in NYC and I live with family. If a girl ever wanted to come over to my place I would say no cause I don’t like where I live. I’m also in my late 20’s. And I feel like life is passing me by.

What do you think?

25 Comments

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  1. Some women may be comfortable with it and others may require a financially independent partner. Just be honest about your situation and do what you can do improve it. You could suggest going on affordable dates and to go Dutch if that’d be more financially bearable for you.

  2. I would always say focus on yourself first and be stable in your own life before you bringing someone else into it or just casually date but let them know you look for cheap thrills with it being nyc and all. But if they are looking to go out where money will be spent and you cant pay most times it looks bad. Also if you cant bring her to your house and its always her house she may find that odd too. I think just try to get more secure in life first or find someone else in the same situation.

  3. It depends what you mean by broke honestly.

    If you can’t afford to get a cup of coffee on a regular day perhaps it’s not the time to date. Sort yourself out first

    If you’re only referring to living at home and not having a car…then sure. You shouldn’t pause your life and enjoyment waiting for the perfect moment. There never really is.

    You may find you aren’t always successful because of these things but there are definitely women who don’t mind and are even in the same position. Just have fun on your dates. Remember though dating and relationships generally are quite expensive in terms of time and money so just be prepared for that expense too

  4. I lived with my parents through nearly my whole 20s. Had plenty of dates and girls over. So yeah dude, it ain’t a problem. Funny thing, you’ll probably find gals your age out there in the same situation.

    Don’t let anything hold you back, that is your own inabitions slowing you down in life. Let go of that and go for the impossible. You’ll be surprised what you can achieve.

  5. If you wanna be successful in dating get your money together first and then start but you might also be able to find someone even if you are broke

  6. It depends on how broke you are. If you mean you live on less than average income but debt free, i believe you still can date people of course not going to somewhere fancy. But if you mean you have tons of debt you still need to work out, then i suggest not to date at the moment. Losing 1 or 2 years to get your life straight is cheaper than a lifetime of stress and failure.

  7. It will be a dealbreaker to a lot of woman that you live with your parents. There will also be a decent amount of women that won’t care. You should at least give dating a try in the meantime! Once you move out from your parents your datability will improve.

  8. I think if love is existing for you and your girls. I don’t think the girl will care about you are broke or not. Because the true love is love your soul not your money 😉

  9. i didn’t start dating again until i was out of debt. you don’t have to have a ton of money, just get to a place where you’re relatively comfortable with yourself financially, then start dating again. the most important part is how you feel about where you are.

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    personally i saved up $1k in savings, cleared all of my debt, and that made me feel good enough to move on to other endeavors like dating. you don’t need to have your dream job with tens of thousands in savings. just do what feels good to you. debt was really stressing me out, so as soon as i took care of that i was ready.

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    you don’t need to have your own place. can always go to hers. ever since i started dating a month ago i’ve either went to her house or we did it in my tiny old 2-door toyota :p

  10. I dont think it’s wise to focus on actively dating if your broke because you’re putting aside the bigger problem which is your financial health. Now, if u somehow met a cutie and it click, it doesnt hurt to date(passive dating). Just priority your financial health then dating life. It would make dating so much easier.

  11. As a woman I have dated men who didn’t have money to take me out or have cars. What’s important is to have a plan. Not just « walk around » but go to the botanical garden or rose garden or a park and play on the equipment (only if no kids and both of you enjoy it). Ride bikes and get an ice cream. Hiking, historical city walks, etc can be great and free.

    If you use Google, there are a lot of location walks to see movie locations. This can be a fun way to get to know someone.

    Are there people who only want to date you if you have a car and can go fancy places? Yes. Find the people who just want to get to know you and who appreciate that you took the time to find a location walk for their favorite movie.

  12. I think its best to be a little bit balanced on your feet before dating. Plus date a woman who can hold her own, else you will be stuck with a leech who just wants to suck you dry

  13. If you feel like life is passing you by, why are you living in one of the most expensive places in the country? I think the red flag here is low self esteem, not your personal situation. If your goal is to get your own place and own a car to improve the self esteem, it might be time to face facts and make some life choices that give you a chance to attain those goals.

  14. Go for it anyway, with the caveat being that you can probably expect to be taking some rejection, so take it in stride.

    More people are broke for longer these days. Real opportunities are hard to find and the cost of basic stuff like rent keeps increasing (especially in NYC). Somebody may as well start pushing back against rules which posit, say, a car as a prerequisite to living your life.

  15. It’s different when you are young because almost everyone is broke anyways. It becomes a turn off at 40 years old. I know everyone goes through hard times, but I feel like if you can’t even take me to a decent restaurant, then maybe you need to get yourself together first. That’s just me though.

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