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Dating : Is it stupid to not want to date someone because of something so small as a nose ring

Dating : Is it stupid to not want to date someone because of something so small as a nose ring


Here’s the deal, I feel like an asshole just typing this out. But I can’t help but feel unnatracted to this person

This girl and I have been talking for a while. She’s big into piercings and stuff, mostly on her ear. I’m not really into that usually. She also has a septum piercing, which is fine, not my favorite but I can live with it

The thing is, she recently also got a nose ring. And now it just looks like too much. I can’t help but think it’s unattractive and it really turns me off.

She’s amazing in every other way. But I don’t see myself being attracted to her while she has it

Am I being stupid?

PS: I do not mean in any way that she shouldn’t get it or anything. It’s her choice. I’m just wondering if it’s a stupid thing

What do you think?

36 Comments

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  1. Seems like she’s into piercings and you’re not. Being physically attracted to someone is a big part of dating for most people, and it’s worse and more insulting to the other person to try to fake it when it’s not there.

  2. Too many piercings is definitely a turn off for me as well. And Im a girl. I just have a nose stud and my earrings. Some people dont care or are really attracted to lots of piercings. You aren’t alone, you’re allowed to have precerences.

  3. Right off the bat when I read your post, I felt like the piercing was not like, super important here.

    *Personally,* I think that if I met a person who is really cool, smart and funny, it’s going to take a whole lot more for me to dismiss that for something like superficial or visible looks. Whether that’s a mole, lazy eye or badly drawn eyebrows, I really try to not forget that I am here for the « who » of a person (kind, loving), not the « what » (raging goth or trophy Barbie).

    I feel like that’s some of the beauty of opposite attraction romantic relationships. How two people, radically different, have set that aside to focus on their love.

  4. I think if something as small as a nose ring turns you off from her then you’re probably not as interested in her as you think you are and should cut it off for both of your sakes. If such a minor change in appearance makes you lose your attraction to her then what would happen if she got an unflattering haircut? Or gained some weight? Or started breaking out badly?

  5. I think people who have septum piercings look like cows. No judgement about them as people, but it’s distracting in a bad way.

    There’s nothing wrong with making that call for yourself..

  6. I don’t think it’s stupid. You can stop dating people or not start dating them for whatever reason you want to. But I’m kinda curious if this is really just about the nose ring. It’s such a minor visual thing. Are you sure there aren’t other issues deep down that brought you to the brink of breaking up and this is just the tiny thing pushing you over?

  7. Everyone is entitled to have their own mate selection screening process and *must haves list*.

    Each of is also entitled to have our own boundaries and « deal breakers ».

    If you can’t « see yourself » with someone who is big into piercings you should move on.

    One of the worst things anyone can do is date someone *they knew* had a certain lifestyle or interest in something and then *later complain* or attempt to get them to *change*. People aren’t *projects*.

    Most people want to be loved and appreciated for who *they* are.

    We’re all entitled to have our favorite flavor of ice cream, color, or pizza toppings.

    It’s what makes us *individuals*. As the old adage goes: « Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. »

    One person’s so called « shallowness » is another person’s « preference ».

    Best wishes!

  8. If she’s really into piercings, I doubt she’d want to date someone who doesn’t like how they look on her. You have different preferences, doesn’t make either one of you assholes.

  9. I have a number of piercings, but I’m not here to shame you. My septum ring feels like a part of me like I never recognized myself before I got it. Idk if I’d get a nose ring too, like is it just on one side I feel like that would look lopsided? I digress, my point is I feel the girls perspective. To me it’s not a small or stupid thing. If somebody didn’t like that about me we just wouldn’t be compatible and that’s okay. I would just be straightforward it’s okay to have preferences

  10. I personally think a nose ring can be cute, but in not into lip or body piercings(nipples, clit, etc). Basically if my mouth is going to be going on it, I’d rather it not be there.

  11. It doesn’t make you a bad person to have dating preferences. Also, if a nose ring turned you off her, you’re probably not that into her to begin with. Saves you both some time.

  12. You’re allowed your preferences. I remember talking to a terrific and funny woman, I knew I should have been asking out but I couldn’t get past her extremely large chest tattoo.

  13. You’re allowed to have preferences like that just like I’m allowed to preferences that I don’t like a grown man that regularly wears tshirts and fugly trainers.

  14. Why don’t you talk to her about it? Like « I’m uncomfortable bringing this up but I’ve been struggling with it and wanted to talk it through. I don’t mind any of your other piercings and they’re all obviously your personal choices that I don’t get a say in, but I just have a weird thing where I don’t like nose rings. It seems like a stupid thing to end this over when everything else is going so well so I wanted to ask if it’s something you envision having forever or if you just wanted to try it for a bit or what. »

    She deserves someone who’s honest with her and who’s attracted to her, so have the conversation and figure out if it’s gonna work or not.

  15. Yeah I love piercings personally. I guess I understand why people don’t prefer them, but it’s weird to be like, calling someone a degenerate for having piercings. Not saying you are, I’m just making an observation.

    But, you can’t force yourself to like them!

  16. Bro I feel the same way. Nose piercings are just too much for me and they are very unattractive to me. I use to feel like an ass for feeling this way but I learned that everyone has their preferences on what they like and while some may say it’s stupid to not like someone because of a nose piercings everyone else has their own preferences. Think about as it’s like if someone doesn’t want to date a woman because she’s fat. It just isn’t his preference just how a girl with a nose piercing is not your preference.

  17. I disliked piercings and tattoos, even when I started dating someone with several despite the fact I wasn’t a fan, but she was cool and funny. I changed my opinion, started finding them attractive, especially the tats. Nipple and clit hood piercings that I’d been struggling with liking I completely flipped my opinion.

  18. You can’t help what you’re attracted, or not attracted to.

    Some people love piercings, some don’t.

    I wouldn’t tell her it’s all about the piercing, because she’s clearly chosen it because she likes it, and it might be confusing for her thinking you’re asking her to remove it…I’m not sure.

    If you’re not attracted to her anymore, then treat it as any other breakup, show her respect and kindness, and end things.

  19. I have to back you up on this. I have nothing against nose rings, just not my thing either. If you genuinely like the girl and know her well then maybe it’s not a big deal. When I first meet someone if they have a big nose ring it just turns me off right away.

  20. Is this about the nose ring or something else?

    If she’s “perfect” in every other way I can’t imagine this is actually what is making you disgusted.

    If it is….. well… sorry to say but of all the flaws you could have, having nose ring seems about the smallest. You’re entitled to like what you want and have whatever standards you want, just remember, it’s a 2-way street. Are you okay with women judging you for something like that even if you’re “perfect”? And the second comment off this is, even if you don’t like it, is it something you can work past, because nobody’s perfect. Just wait until you have kids and start arguing about how to raise them. So, are you really annoyed by the nose ring, or are you just playing the “Finding faults” game?

  21. Seems totally reasonable to me. I don’t think nose rings look good on women either. Most facial piercings don’t imo. I actually don’t like regular earrings on women either. Weird I know.

  22. It’s such a small thing, still give it a go, most people get sick of their face piercings and remove them eventually anyway, I did in my 20s. You are being a lil superficial to consider completely walking away from someone great for something so small.

  23. You’re allowed to have preferences. Piercings and tattoos are commonly associated with criminal activity so it’s ok that you want to avoid that lifestyle.

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