Dating : Is there any solution to the growing inequity of modern dating?
Inequity in dating has likely never been higher in modern history.
On Hinge, for example:
– 58% of women’s likes go to the top 10% of men.
– 96% of women’s likes go to the top 50%.
This means the bottom half of all men only get 4% of women’s interest spread among them. A top 1% man gets 190 times as many likes as a man in the bottom 50%. [1,2]
The hyperfocus of women’s attention at the top men is leading to major redistribution in the sexual marketplace. From 2002 to 2013, the top 20% of men had a 25% increase in sexual partners. The top 5% of men had a 38% increase in sexual partners. [3]
At the same time, the percent of completely sexless men at the bottom of this skewed distribution is rapidly growing. Currently 28% of unmarried young men are completely celibate. This number has tripled since 2008. [4]
One Hinge engineer described the current inequity as rivaling the rich-poor inequity of a country like South Africa [5]. We are seeing every year the stats show the situation is worsening.
Do you see this as a problem? Is there any solution?
**References:**
*See comment below*
**References:**
[1] https://postimg.cc/N5hyvV8n
[2] https://qz.com/1051462/these-statistics-show-why-its-so-hard-to-be-an-average-man-on-dating-apps/
[3] https://journals.lww.com/stdjournal/Fulltext/2017/02000/Changes_in_the_Distribution_of_Sex_Partners_in_the.5.aspx
[4] https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/03/29/share-americans-not-having-sex-has-reached-record-high
[5] https://hingeirl.com/hinge-reports/whats-the-biggest-challenge-men-face-on-dating-apps-a-qa-with-aviv-goldgeier-junior-growth-engineer/
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The solution is becoming the best version of yourself as much as possible and screw data. It’s always been like this. Women aim for the high status leaders, it doesn’t matter if it was 100 years ago or 100 years later. Become the best version of yourself.
Yes there is a solution. It’s called work to become more valuable partners and wait until women get into their 30s and the biological clock goes off. Right now the 20 something men need to be amassing skills and resources so that in their 30s they are ready to start catching women who will inevitably decide to pair off.
Unless you suspect the birth rate to plummet, or the unwed parent number to skyrocket, it stands to reason that as your cohort’s women approach menopause, we should see mating numbers go up for current celibate men.
Buddy I’m starting to worry about you. Online dating has given women some unbelievable power they’ve never had before. Let them be just as shallow as us guys for a chance. It’s men that need to adapt, not women.
So now that women have the self determination to decide who they want to interject with and start relationships with. Them then decide not to pick you is what? Bad? You want people that don’t like you to be forced to interact with you? Da fuk
Yes there is a solution. It’s called arranged marriage and we should have never did away with them.
I don’t really see it as a problem that I ever think about, although I’m aware that it’s a struggle many men are going through.
I wouldn’t ever use apps for serious relationships, but I absolutely would for something casual. Apps practically encourage shallowness based on the premise alone, so it’s no surprise to me that women decide to be more particular about who they swipe right to. I actually find a lot of men attractive, so I end up swiping right a lot, and what’s happened is that there are too many of them now. I end up ignoring a lot of messages because the vetting it would take to go through and respond to each guy is more than I’m willing to put through. I think maybe some women are trying to avoid having that happen and want to keep it to the men they’re entirely attracted to and would want to pursue something with.
And generally speaking, if it’s that unequal, wouldn’t it make more sense for men to move away from the apps and try to meet women in more organic settings?
Convert to Islam and let the muslims take over. Sharia law can’t come soon enough.
Yup, I went on a rant in a comment about an hour ago. If you don’t trigger easily, check it out
Bro seriously… stop giving a shit about what braindead women want. I want you to learn this concept, its called the « women are stupid concept », just apply this concept to any situation where you dislike womens behavior and move on. You should only go for the woman you view as perfect, and without giving a shit about what she wants, yeah most likely she will want the white tall male, but thats how a lot of women are. Bitching and complaining about it will never change how monolithic they are, so you just gotta weed out the basic bitches bro, and remember at the end of the day… they aint shiiit. Good luck in all your endeavors, fellow short asian GOD.
I doubt we’ll reach much of a solution until both men and women change their behavior. Women need to stop putting themselves out there just to get attention from men on places like social media and dating apps. Men need to stop letting themselves be influenced by women when the men don’t gain anything and the women get all the attention from those same men as an ego boost.
The solution is for governments or independent bodies to step in and somehow regulate the dating economy to make it fairer. Like they do with financial markets or education. I doubt they ever will do though, because people (mainly women) believe they have a « right » over what they do with their bodies.
Part of the solution is getting mainstream society to see that this is a genuine problem. Right now, most of society simply does not give a shit if men do not have relationships or sex. They just say « tough, deal with it » or accuse men of being « incels » or « weak ». Women in particular don’t give a shit, they never want the bottom tier of men to breed or have access to sex (unless they pay a big premium for it).
Also not enough real research has been done to examine the effects of sexlessness on mental health and the human brain. We are quick to label people as « depressed » and they must do things like sort their diet, exercise, get a job, « improve themselves », but we never actually mention sex and the mental and physical benefits of it. At the end of the day, we are designed purely to have sex and procreate. Society treats sex as taboo and pretends we don’t need it to feel happy and fulfilled.
There are so many men that don’t understand what losing a few pounds in the spring can mean. It does wonders for them but so many stay lazy, get fat, then get mad that women aren’t giving them a chance. Each year we get more and more shit that makes us more content and less desirable to chase unless it comes up right to us even when we’re not desirable.
Lmaoo big Cope