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Dating : Just got kissed for the first time in eight years (30M)

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Dating : Just got kissed for the first time in eight years (30M)


Wow.

So earlier this week I met up with someone my age from an online dating website. We walked around town, had dinner and a few drinks together. It seemed to be going well, and she’s really amazing and beautiful, but being the skinny, insecure nerd that I am (never been in a relationship, never had sex) I had no idea if she liked me romantically or not.

In a random burst of confidence which happens very rarely to me, as we were laughing and talking together near the end of the evening, I out of the blue asked if I could kiss her. She said yes. Before I could process this, she moved up close to me and we made out for a good few minutes.

She was the first person to kiss me since the beginning of 2011, when I was 22. I’m now 30. No one I had met in the last eight years had made the move on me, and everyone I had asked (which might sound lame to some but I’ve always been cautious) had all gently said no. I started online dating a year and a half ago when I had enough of being alone, but I hadn’t had much success until now. I didn’t tell her how long it had been, I just said after she was the first in a long time. To which she smiled, understood, and kissed me even more.

I feel pretty incredible about it still. We both lead busy lives but I hope we find time soon to see each other again. And, whatever happens, I *really* hope it’s not another eight years until the next time.

What’s the next step for me, and how can I keep this new-found confidence/self-worth going?

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What do you think?

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  1. That’s awesome to hear! There’s no beating that warm feeling you get after making a genuine connection with someone and learning they feel the same.

    Good luck!

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  3. I’m not being helpful right now but this is so cute and I’m so happy for you!!!!! As a girl, I don’t think I’d ever be turned off by a guy asking to kiss me. I love that you do that. It’s charming!

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  4. Good job man, you came as you are. You should know by now, that if there is someone that noticed you are someone worthy to be liked, then your are worthy of liking yourself more.

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  6. Continue to be yourself. Don’t overthink things. Communicate your needs and wants and she will probably respond positively to that.

    The worst thing you could do is get too attached too fast and scare her.

    Just try to take things slow and enjoy every minute of it.

    Congratulations!

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  11. Congratulations on having a fantastic first date! My advice is keep your feeling honest but not too over eager and over possessive. Don’t start controlling how she lives and who she can hang out with.

    ​

    Make it fun, stay genuine. Best of luck to you!

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  25. If she likes you then carry on being yourself and don’t be afraid of showing who you truly are! And when you feel like it tell her about your feelings towards her.

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  33. That must’ve been a great day for you. It can be incredibly hard to have a lack of physical touch. I hope you all get together again! And even if it doesn’t work out with this girl, I hope it gives you a confidence boost to keep putting yourself out there.

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  35. The next step is to be cool, and by that I don’t mean be aloof. I mean, just be cool and normal with her, see if she wants to go on a second date as I assume you want to go on one with her. Set up the time, place, and day, and enjoy her company and escalate the intimacy if that’s what you both want to do. Maybe things might move to your place or hers after or on the second date, maybe not, but be cool, man.

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  36. Man, I’m the same as you! I haven’t been kissed in 2 years, not 8, but also a super shy and insecure 30 y/o virgin.

    I’m happy for you!! It gives me hope 🙂

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  37. >online dating

    > Christ his post history is scary.

    ​

    -u/Advacar

    My father says he met my mother on a blind date. Look at my post history to see how well that went over. (hint: not well) So unless it’s necessary to flee abuse or something, never show up to any blind dates.

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  39. You asked what your next move is. 43M here. Been married a couple times, dated a few, not inexperienced. If it were me, I would not act too overzealous or excited. Play it cool, but definitely let her know how you feel. I’d text her and say ‘So I had a great time. REALLY enjoyed your kisses. REALLY enjoyed the conversation and I’d like to see you again. I can definitely make time. If interested, let me know when you’re free again so we connect.’ Or something to that effect. Then I’d exercise patience and give it at least 3 days. If you don’t hear anything, shoot another text. In my experience, if someone is interested, you’ll know in a few days.

    I’m happy for you and I hope this one plays out well for you. Take this confidence and expand it a little while the feelings there. Compliment a few ladies on their shoes or hair. You’re the man, right now. Be cool and enjoy it.

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  42. Ask her out again dum dum. If you have feelings for her, show it. If she she feels the same she’ll say yes. This is so fucking beautiful

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