Dating : LPT: Don’t buy into anyone’s hype
This is something we’ve all struggled with, myself included. You’re on a dating app, or some form of social media, and the other person seems like they lead a pretty interesting/exciting life. Or you’re texting with them and they seem really funny/smart/whatever
I’ve been on plenty of dates and talked to scores of people over the years, and I’ve learned that most people, guys and girls, think they’re better than they actually are. It’s easy to get wrapped up in someone’s narrative: they’ve got pics of themselves doing interesting things, they namedrop authors/bands/films that make them look like they’re deep/have good taste, they tell you all about their hobby like they’re the only person who does it
I’d meet up with these girls (in my case) and find out they’re not as interesting as they first seemed. I’m not saying they’re bad people, or that the dates were unenjoyable (some were, some weren’t), but there was a marked difference between the persona they had built up behind a screen and the actual person I got. Not only that, but a lot of them did a great job of talking a lot about their interests and what they’ve been doing in life while barely asking me about myself
When I was still inexperienced in dating I’d think « Shit, this girl seems like a catch, hope I don’t muck it up. » I’m a little more cynical now; putting it bluntly, my approach is « Yeah, you’re another white girl who enjoys traveling and has named a bunch of the same stuff I see everyone else name. And? ». I’m not sure what the stereotypes for guys’ dating profiles are, but I’m sure you could easily say the same thing about them
I know it can be tough, especially if you’re lonely and/or been single for a while and want to meet someone, but don’t buy into anyone’s hype; they’re already buying into their own (and similarly, don’t buy into your own hype either). If they were truly that unique they probably wouldn’t be on a dating app to begin with
HAHAHAH I love this.
Sometimes I think my dating profile is boring af but then I’m like… well this is what they are going to get so.
I write a few adjectives about myself with a few pics with my friends nothing special no traveling and short caption something like
“Curious, blunt & kind”
I feel like I’d rather people be impressed and pleasantly surprised by me in real life rather than building up a false image online.
Like no I don’t travel every waking moment. Im freaking studying for exams and doing work like a normal human
Do you think it’s the whole, « fake it until you make it » mantra that’s floating around? I’m curious how to go forward with what you ha e proposed, because I believe its changed my thought process a bit. I mean I’m a normal dude, and I’m lucky enough to do some cool stuff but in the end I’m just an average American man right? So what’s the balance of drinking your own koolaid to be confident but not gorging yourself and losing touch with reality?
Why is it such a bad thing that most people share a set of interests. If you take the time to get to know someone, their past, their day to day, you will find interesting things. I think people put down general interests because they’re expectations are absurd. Yes, most people like watching movies, traveling, long conversations and good food, but it doesn’t negate what specifically each person likes. Ie I like traveling not just for experience, but I like organizing, I like that moment of being somewhere that battles were fought, etc.
Stop using a bayg profile of words to determine someone’s worth, meet then in person, do activities, how’s they treat people around them.