Dating : [M and F, both mid 20s] First date went seemingly well, then she cancelled the next two – do I quit?
Hi,
so first date went pretty well in my opinion. We talked for 3 hours straight, no awkward silence, laughed and had a good time. She suggested a second date.
We texted for a bit and set it up 2 weeks later. She had to cancel because of a cold. Then 2 weeks after that we were to meet again, this time her work called her in apparently.
Now I’m not sure how I should approach this. Illness can happen and so can emergency work obligations. I just get the vibe she might not be that interested which is just really contrary to her behavior/what she writes. Yes she is a bit of a slow writer and sometimes needs a nudge after going silent a few days, but when she writes back it’s always an interactive answer, long and thought through. Like if shes really interested in the talk. When I asked her out both times her responses were quite ecstatic and she suggested multiple things we could do etc.
You think I should try a third time (you know – third time’s a charm) or do I move on and assume she made up excuses and she’s not into me at all? Or do I even directly ask her if she’s interested in a second date at all, only that this might come across as an accusation, as in yea were you *aaaaactually* ill or just pretending. If she actually likes me and was ill that would be…quite the blunder
Tell her the ball’s in her court, and to message you if she wants to catch up again sometime.
You put forth a good effort. I would say that you should wait and give her a chance to get back to you. Unfortunately I don’t think she will-it sounds like a slow ghosting. Also, if she had wanted to, she could have rescheduled.
When you genuinely like someone you do everything you can to answer texts and see them. From what you said about having to nudge her, she isn’t working very hard to get to know you. If she is not willing to be upfront and honest about that then this is probably not a good or considerate person to date. Find someone who is excited about you!
I hope I’m wrong and that she just has a lot on her plate, but maybe work on seeing who else is out there. Good luck!
You will never make the shot if you don’t shoot
Doesn’t sound good but you can be charitable and give her a chance. Wait 7-10 days from the prior cancellation. No contact in that time. When that time goes by, reach out to her again in a casual way. Text « yo ». NOTHING ELSE. Does she respond? If yes, what does she say? Gauge her interest from there. If she’s open to a date, invite her to McDonalds. Again, judge her response. This will be sufficient to figure out what she’s thinking.
Sloppy seconds..No thanks…
She’s dating/talking to other guys, she’ll go out with them all, they’ll all not work out, then watch her come back, tail between her legs..
« Hey…Let’s meet up again »!!!!
I seem to have that problem quite frequently with meeting a new person. The first meet up goes pretty decent, lots of conversation and even being goofy. she tells me she’ll text me when she gets home, or that we will hang out again and then usually I never hear from her again, or it’s similar to your experience, she starts acting different and slowly talks less and less and shows little to no interest. So basically what the last guy said, it sounds like she is slowly ghosting you.
personally for me I would flat out ask her if she’s even interested or not and that if she’s not interested it’s perfectly fine because you shouldn’t have to be strung along like that and wait around wondering what’s going on. I would flat out ask her how she feels and if you should part ways or not.