Dating : men, how do you view Asian women, specifically in regards to attraction/dating?

Dating : men, how do you view Asian women, specifically in regards to attraction/dating?

For some context, I’m Asian American girl in college. I was born and raised in a large American city; my parents are immigrants and while I’m still proud of and connected to my ethnicity, it’s no surprise that I feel American more than anything. Being Asian, specifically being an Asian woman with stereotypical Asian features (im small/short, thin, dark hair, dark almond shaped eyes) has definitely affected the way some men perceive me.

I’ve had my fair share of uncomfortable comments from men, but the ones regarding my race weird me out the most, regardless of whether they were meant to be harmful or they were innocent. I don’t think there is anything wrong with racial or physical preferences, I can’t control what I’m attracted to and don’t expect anyone else to. But whenever I hear a guy tell me he likes Asian girls, there’s always a part of me that wonders if its purely because of the way they look (which is fine) or if it’s because the stereotypes revolving Asian women (think that one scene in Full Metal Jacket lol)

I don’t think my race has hindered my love life at all and I’ve never had trouble with men in general, the purpose of this post isn’t to complain or feel sorry for myself because I don’t. I want to hear your honest thoughts about how you view Asian women; if you’re attracted to them, why? is it purely because you like their features or is it because you, on some level, whether its conscious or not, see them as what they are stereotyped as? What is the appeal about Asian women and why are they so sexualized in media?

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What do you think?

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  1. I think Asian women are absolutely beautiful.
    If I ran into one and we hit it off I would date one in a heart beat. I really don’t see many in my age preference on OLD sites though.

  2. This is such a difficult question to answer. Like dancing through a minefield.

    I’m attracted to Asian women more than others but, as others have said, not because of any stereotypes. Everyone has a « type » they’re attracted to. Can’t be helped. The choice to date a particular person, though, comes down to connection, personality, and other factors that have nothing to do with stereotypes.

    I just think you ladies are beautiful.

  3. People want what they want and like what they like. You will always come across an asshole, unfortunately. A lot of guys just like the facial features and proportions. They find it attractive. That is why talking to someone is so important. You can find out if they are disingenuous or the real deal.

    The media is problematic for the portrayal but so is the women who take it. At one point Asians stopped taking certain roles in acting and those that did, were ostracized by the community for it. The community wanted to create a better image. It wasn’t a flawless transition, but many see Asians as smart, hard working and great at math. Better than the traditional martial arts and racist stereotypes that used to be really prevalent. It’s all very convoluted and twisted into many different things. That is why terms like systematic racism keep popping up.

    Perhaps you struggle with identity some? With parents that immigrated and being native born in the U.S. it might be hard figuring out where you belong exactly. I know mixed race children often struggle with this. You see yourself as American as the next person, but feel you are being defined by your physical appearance as oppose to who you are as a person?

  4. Hello, another Asian American (21) girl here!

    I’ve dated a lot of people: both white and POC men, and honestly have faced racial fetishization from both. They were mostly anime-related which was especially weird (and at times offensive) because I’m not even Japanese.

    However in all honesty, I don’t have a problem with people who have a preference for Asian women; I will admit that I myself have a preference for latinx and Hispanic men. If someone tells me they’re attracted to Asian features, then so be it.

    In my opinion, it crosses into problematic territory when someone assumes or expects you to act like whatever stereotypes they have about your race. And *that’s* the only reason they’re with you: because you’re Asian, they think you’ll act like xyz stereotypes, when in reality you’re obviously an individual with your own personality.

  5. The attraction was/is mutual(sometimes?). After living in Asia for some time. The asian woman I married cares a lot about family which is great and what I wanted. And media sexualizes everything.

  6. Honestly, I’ve always found asian women attractive because they usually come from stable families, most take care of themselves, and are usually educated oriented.

    It’s less of a « look » thing, and more so of a cultural thing.

    They also usually don’t have a string of crazy exes or use excuses like undiagnosed mental health problems.

  7. I don’t get your question? What are you trying to find out? I read what you wrote and you answered your own questions but still want to know more personal opinions of redditors?

    Some will say they have fetishes of the docile and submissive stereotype.
    Some will say they perceive them as any other women they come across with their own personality and features.

    The main appeal of Asian women to men is that they are women.. ‘
    Every women regardless of race and culture are sexualized. Latinas are sexualized a lot more than Asians and so are black skin women too.

  8. Basically men are horny shitheads who will say whatever they think works to get laid, especially towards a group that is so fetishized in media like Asian women. But again if you want commitment and good treatment from a high quality man, sorry but thats where societal racism against Asians rears its ugly head again.

    If you want to avoid this problem it’s ridiculously easy, just date Asian guys instead.

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