Dating : Need help with love life
Hello everyone hope all of you are doing well, so I have the issue when I’m trying to find someone attractive but they don’t feel the same way but when it’s the other way around they are not attractive enough for me. I’m can never see myself dating anyone that’s below an 8 I know it sounds shallow and that’s how I feel. So now I’m feeling like I’m ugly because people who are unattractive or lower social status go for each other and I percieve these unattractive people as like a mirror that tells me I’m ugly because I see unattractive people with other unattractive ppl.
(Edit): I forgot to mention I care abt personality as well.
To be honest… you’re probably correct.
If you only like hot people who are shallow and dont care about personality… and those people dont find you attractive then it’s most likely because you’re not an 8/10 or above…
If people who are less attractive than that or who dont care about looks as much dont find you attractive its because you have a horrible personality.
At the moment I would say your saving grace is that at least you are honest and know you’re shallow, I.e. that you’re only interested in someone’s appearance.
So you need to be honest with yourself and decide… are you REALLY hot enough to justify only wanting to date very attractive people? Furthermore, is your personality really charming enough to make up for any physical failings that you have?
If the answer to both above questions is « no » then you have 2 choices:
1, learn to be less fussy about physical attributes and realise personality is equally important (I would actually say more important).
2, accept that you will probably die alone since shallow people will only ever care about your looks and if they dont meet the standards… you’ll never get them.
Well, the language you use tells me you have a certain frame of mind when you’re dating, that could translate to the vibe you’re giving off. I’ve seen grossly overweight guys with tiny pretty little things because they were fun, had charisma, and got shit done.
There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to a certain type of girl. I also used to feel a bit insulted when someone I thought was “below my number” tried to ask me out. But I know now that they also realized I was a reaaalllyyy good catch and they just wanted to TRY and see if they were lucky. And I really respect and admire them for shooting their shot.
Charisma and personality (and a good credit score) does a lot for anyone lacking in the looks department, especially if you have a sense of style and aesthetics. It means you still take pride in your appearance and that you personally love yourself and are confident.
That being said, if you can never get girls in the range you want, you might just have a longer time finding someone who wants to play. Doesn’t mean it won’t happen, but you’re going to have to find someone who isn’t as picky as you are, and can become more attracted to you when they realize your Personality is killer. I’ve had some serious rose colored glasses for guys that were musical geniuses, comedians, or generally talented in some artistic field.
So let’s hope you roll the dice on that and find someone who gives you a chance, and you get to step up and knock it Out of the ball park.
P.S. I’ve dated a few models and they were seriously unattractive and a real turnoff when they couldn’t hold a conversation or show me a sparkling wit. I was intensely bored. So if you’re somewhat good looking but lacking luster, all the charming looks in the world can’t save you from a “meh” personality.