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Dating : Please help me delusionize my friend (19/m)

Dating : Please help me delusionize my friend (19/m)


I have a friend (m/19) who has never dated, kissed or even held hands with a girl before. He’d like to change that, but it just won’t happen. Why? Because he’s delusional and the way he perceives himself and girls is a bit messed up.

He’s an average looking guy. Like, average. Not too good, not too bad. He works out regularly tho and he has a good body, which is a plus.

His problem: he thinks he only deserves the very top of the top. We introduced him to tinder, he won’t swipe girls right that are not at least an 8 which is completely out of his range. He is so obsessed with how a girl looks that he keeps missing out on a girls character at all (in real life of course). He already got approached by like two girls from our previous school, but he turned them down because they’re “ugly” or “weird”.
I told him to change his view and find someone in his range and being more focused on the inner qualities, but he says he doesn’t want to settle for something low and wants to maintain his expectations high, “because that’s at least better than just accepting what I get”.

I kind of get his point and still think it’s completely unrealistic. I know it’s not my job and he sounds like a complete douche, but I want to help him realise how wrong he things about all this. I can at least try. He’s a good and funny guy and I appreciate him as a friend, his (non existing) dating life is just a complete Desaster.

Do you guys have any advice on how to talk to him and what to tell him?

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What do you think?

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  1. Why do you care? Why do you find it important he finds someone? Why does that bother you? Let him figure it out. If he’s crying and whining about being single tell him to knock it off, if he isn’t though then find another project.

  2. You don’t have to teach him this lesson, life will.

    My mom’s brother is the worst example of this. He is a solid 3. Looks like shit, missing teeth, bad hygiene, arrogant, and terrible company. We draw straws for who has to have breakfast with him on Christmas morning. We do it purely out of respect for our late Grandmother, who wouldn’t want him to be alone on Christmas.

    The reason he is alone is he wants a 10. Not a 9, not a solid 8 (which he couldn’t get anyway), but a hard 10. She has to be 30 years younger than him, beautiful, well educated, have a well-paying, prestigious career, and she must absolutely dote on him and believe he is as wonderful as he thinks himself to be. What would this hypothetical 10 get in return? A fat, arrogant, smelly asshole. He is in his late 60’s and he will likely die alone.

    Your friend will either wise up or end up like Uncle Eddie.

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