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Dating : Single for 20 years… Can’t find a boyfriend

Dating : Single for 20 years… Can’t find a boyfriend


I am 20 years old and have been single my entire life. I am currently studying in a top college. I am 5’8, slim and toned, and have a pretty face. I am outgoing and have hobbies and interests. Guys seem to only be interested in me to hookup and nothing more.

The closest thing to a relationship that I have been in was a month with a guy who is tall, buff, and outgoing that I had many mutual friends with. He had tried to hookup with me multiple times at parties, but I dodged it. One night at a party we were talking and afterwards I ended up messaging and we hung out. After that we started hooking up about once a week until I lost my virginity to him. We would barely talk in between our hookups, but after we had sex he completely ghosted me. This whole « relationship » lasted about a month. This was before winter break so I didn’t contact him when we went on break and pretty much got over it. After break, suddenly he’s been trying to chase me and almost figure out why I act like I don’t care around him now. I am too nice to call him out on his actions and he takes advantage of that and tries to act like nothing happened and seduce me. I want nothing to do with him anymore.

After him, I realized that all I want is a committed relationship, but guys seem to only want to mess around. I guess it doesn’t help that Im a tall girl and most guys taller than me seem to be players. Please give me advice on how to find a relationship.

What do you think?

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  1. If you want to lock down alpha males who have a lot of options then you are correct it is probably very hard.
    Finding relationships for women your age is incredibly easy, finding them with alpha males though is very hard.

    Either you break down from being lonely and enter a relationship with a non alpha male or you would have to keep going through alphas until one of them will want to commit.

  2. Try going after all those slightly less attractive guys who you’ve been friends with for more than five years, as long as they are working and have a steady income.

    If you want that long term relationship/marriage/kids that is.

  3. You might want to consider older men since they’re more likely to commit.

    Also, make sure your standards aren’t unreasonably outrageous. I notice the same REALLY attractive women on dating sites/apps after a year. It’s pretty common knowledge how much attention women get online. Never mind if they’re really attractive. I can only imagine how many men have sent them messages and how many dates they’ve been on. The fact that they’re STILL single after all of that time is absolutely mind numbing.

  4. Same, I’m 30, attractive (modeled), very fit, and wealthy (good job and inheritance) and its impossible to find men who want to commit. Not only that, but a lot of men will put in LOTS of effort and time with dating, which completely wastes my time after months.

    Men won’t commit because they don’t have to. Dating apps are basically free escort services where men use women lol and in the past they’d have to pay thousands of dollars. Why would he commit to 1 woman when he can have 5 new ones without any commitment?

  5. My mother always told me « if you keep trying to pick roses, you are going to get pricked ». If you’re trying to get in a committed relationship at your age, then you’re going to have to value personality more than looks. Why? Because attractive guys at that age that are also in college are pretty much never going to be settling down. If a guy can sleep with a different girl every night, why would he choose to settle down with just one? I mean, that kind of guy would be one in a million.

  6. I think society does a disservice to women by offering countless beauty tips while pretending « girl game » doesn’t exist. Girl game is real, and it’s possible to gently nudge (not manipulate) a guy into committing to you. Personality also matters more to guys than most of us will ever admit

  7. You need to find a hot guy and stay with him long enough for him to be your boyfriend. Don’t give up when he cheats or dumps you, don’t stop fighting for what you want!

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